Reading

Before my transplant

Reading. It's something I never really was that great at doing growing up. I mean, I could read, I just didn't want to recreationally. Until I found the John Grisham books. As an adult, I look for books by looking at the cover, then reading the back of the book. If I like both, then I will get it. Some of my most favorite books have come from even just liking the cover. A lot of random books. Usually from Target. I think one of my favorites I read 2 years ago. It was Dorothy On the Rocks. It was a book with laughing, crying and just all around aww.

Lately though, I have found it difficult to read for myself. The books I have been reading are kids books. For Brandon. And mainly just one. The Little Blue Truck Leads the Way. Just that one. I could probably recite the book without looking at it. I've tried the first book in that series, The Little Blue Truck, but he just wants to read the one where he leads the way. Ot the Curious George one where Curious George becomes a hand puppet and you do the pat-a-cake song with him. He loves to give Curious George hugs and loves. Its really adorable. Meanwhile, my books are getting neglected.

The books I read to Brandon

That's why tonight, when Eric took Brandon with him downstairs to get something to eat, I decided to come upstairs to read. Then started to write. I have a few books I have had since I was in the hospital for my stem cell transplant. One I started and the others I haven't yet. Then there are also a few books Eric got me back in September I believe and I started one of those but haven't finished. Plus, the one my step-mom got me to help with Brandon's transition into toddlerhood. I've read some of it and have taken notes, but nowhere near finished. The reason? Brandon.

Just two books I have to read

I want to give him all of my attention when I am around him. I don't want to miss a thing. And he wants my attention. He wants me to play with him and cuddle with him and ready his books to him. And I will gladly do it. So, my books get put on the back burner. I think the way around that is to actually TAKE my breaks at work. To actually sit there, not doing work, and read. One of the books I started while at Stanford was the Tom Brokaw book A Lucky Life Interrupted. It's about his diagnosis with Multiple Myeloma. I figured when I got hospitalized that I would read. That wasn't the case. I was so weak, nauseous, and didn't want to do anything that I didn't read. I tried to crack open a book, but I would start to fall asleep. Then, getting home from the hospital, it was right back into mommy mode. I had to make up all that time I missed with Brandon while I had to be away from him.

There is one thing. As much as I would love to be reading my own books, or writing my own book, I cherish reading Brandon's books to him. Even if it's the same one over and over again. So, until the time I can read my own books again, I will keep reading Brandon's books to him and savor every moment of it.