Support Group

There have been a few times in my life where I could have or should have used counseling or a support group. Usually I wouldn't and just work through the situation on my own. I believe counseling is a group tool or outlet, but sometimes I would think that its an embarrassment. That you are admitting to failure or having problems. In the last 7 months since my diagnosis with MM, I have realized it's ok to have problems or fail at something. It means you're not perfect and you don't have to be perfect. That's where todays post comes in.

A month ago the medical social worker in the oncology department at my hospital came to me asking if I'd be interested in a meeting/support group with 2 other new moms who have recently been diagnosed with some kind of cancer. Of course, knowing I wanted to meet other moms and also be able to talk to others about what I'm going through, I said I was interested. Today was our second meeting. Two weeks ago we had our first and only two of us showed up. The third? We found out she was in the hospital due to an infection. We just found that out today, and that she really wanted to be there but couldn't. I know I hope she gets better soon. It can be tiring and lonely being in the hospital for a long time. And, unfortunately, she wasn't able to make it today either.

With this support group, all three of us women have baby boys around the same age. All, at this time, 5-6 months old. All we do is talk about our feelings at that time. With treatment. Our little ones. Our family. Our friends. This week, both myself and the other woman are at about the same feelings. We both are feeling pretty good. Not too much pain. And feeling pretty positive about where we are.

Then, we talked about family traditions with Easter since it's just 3 days away. What we did growing up and what we want to teach our sons. For "A" {I will refer to her by just her first initial}, it was all about church & Jesus. Which, even though I didn't group up going to church, I know that is what Easter is about. Especially with today being Good Friday. She is instilling in her son prayer & teaching him about Jesus. She said they pray together. Of course, he doesn't totally understand right now, but he is learning and he will know what it is they do when they sit down together and hold hands and close their eyes. It is definitely a good feeling knowing you are passing something that means so much to you down to your child.

For me, with my family growing up, it wasn't so much about church as I mentioned before, but it was about family. I remember us going to my step-moms families house. In my younger years, it was my grandma & grandpa Fran & Ken's house. Grandma Fran, and the rest of the family, would all help and cook. Italian meals. Oh my gosh the delicious Italian meals we would have. Usually lasagna and sometimes manicotti. Then there is the salad and other sides. But those rich Italian main dishes were delicious. The past 10 years or so, I haven't had an Easter off to be able to enjoy with my family, until last year. But that Easter was all about my dads side of the family and celebrating a few days early my great aunt Val's 100th birthday. I will talk about her and that amazing day in another post later on. So, this year, since I am off, Eric, Brandon & myself will be going over to my brother in law & sister in law's house and spending it with them and our niece. I will be cooking and decided to treat them, and Eric, to our family tradition growing up. I will be making manicotti. I can not wait to make this dinner for them. It's something, if you can't tell, that I am very excited to share with my new extended family. Not to mention, just spending time with them. We love to spending time with my bil and sil & niece and of course they love to have Brandon around.

Just like with Thanksgiving & Christmas this time around, I feel there is so much to be thankful & happy for this year. So much more than previous years. Not just because of Brandon, but also because you never know what is to come or be. Yes, I am doing very well with my treatments right now and will be having my SCT soon, but anything can happen at any moment. You never know what is to come. Today I feel great! I have very minimal pain. But tomorrow I could wake up and not be able to pick Brandon up. Or even be able to get out of bed without help due to the pain. This support group is helping me & making me realize that it is ok to ask for help. It is ok to admit to your depression and share your emotions. They are all justified and you are not alone. I am not alone in this new journey.