Today, she is cold and tired. She's not sick, not hurting, not sad. She is just cold and tired. So, she is relaxing, barely asleep - barely awake. Chillin. Well, unchillin. We all know how fortunate she has been. Her treatments have all gone well. Compared with other cancer patients, she's had relatively minimal symptoms. We don't minimize the pain and discomfort that she has had. But, Krissy has made an effort to keep her condition in perspective. I believe this has helped us to remain so positive for the majority of this situation. Sometimes you have to throw on a smile to get happy. Krissy just is happy. Now it's time for a little rest.
Both California State Parks and Costco has bent over backwards to support and assist us. Obviously, there are legal requirements that our employers have to follow in situations like this. But, we can tell that both wanted to. We are extremely grateful to them and our immediate supervisors. It is easy to get into solution mode, tackling an illness, and forgetting to say thank you to all of those people that held you, carried you, forgave you, and in general made the situation at least slightly more manageable. Everyone, thank you so much for everything that you have done for us. You gave your time, financial assistance, advice, encouragement, distraction, motivation, and just basic humanity. The longer I am on this planet, the more convinced I am that life is about relationships. We have all heard of the five basic senses that make us alive, things we sense, we feel: sight, sound, touch, smell, taste. There is evidence of a sixth sense, intuition. I argue that the more evolved of our species has a seventh sense: conscience - the feeling of right and wrong. If you ask a little child at a park why he/she is feeding bread crumbs to the ducks, the child's answer might confuse you as much as the question confused them. The child will always have an answer for the benefit of the ducks.
"The ducks are hungry. They need to eat."
As we mature, the answer evolves into what feeding the ducks might do for us.
"It makes me happy to feed the ducks."
It simply is just the right thing to do - to feed the ducks. It doesn't benefit the feeder. We have seen this seventh sense in all of you since this process began back in August 2015. You have reached out and feed us with whatever bread crumbs you have had simply because it was the right thing to do, without obligation or reward in doing so. The greatest reward for us has been to be able to see such an outpouring of humanity. Our friends and some strangers exercising their seventh sense, their conscience, has been overwhelmingly rewarding to us. Thank you all for your kindness and generosity.
We were fortunate that I was able to spend the night in Krissy's room on Thursday night. She was in a two person room. But, she didn't have a roommate. So, they said that I could stay until someone got admitted. They weren't expecting anyone. It turned out to be a great night. Krissy got her overnight chemo treatment. They let me watch it and participate in her care. On this night, I got a message from one of Krissy's old friends from SoCal who now lives in Switzerland (Melinda Moriancumer) asking for my perspective on things. So, I responded with "An Eric Interruption" on Krissy's blog. I told her that Krissy and I had the idea of printing her blog in the form of a book. And, I've been writing my perspective privately. We will publish both books as a companionship. The storyline will end this month when the treatments are done. Krissy wants to make a second book regarding her life in Response to Multiple Myeloma treatment. They call it Response and not Recovery because it will come back. MM is not curable at this point. It always comes back. Basically, her genome is coding to make these cancer cells. So, Krissy and I were one of the fortunate couples that were allowed to stay together for this particular treatment. What made this even more important for both of us was that it was going to be our first night away from Brandon - ever. It was better that she and I could be together during this difficult milestone. I woke up somewhere around 5:00am, responding to Melinda's post. I decided that before I could write, I needed coffee. When I walked the halls of the hospital, I found some that were not as fortunate as I:
Over the week or so that we have been at Stanford this time around, Brandon has been growing in so many ways. He flies around the ground now, crawling like a 'normal' little boy. The army crawl is a thing of the past. He used to just drag his legs behind him. His shoulders are incredibly strong. Who needs legs? A couple weeks ago, Brandon started assisted walking. He would hold our hands while taking a few careful steps forward. About a week ago, he started walking along the edge of the couch. Now, he will move from one piece of furniture to another. He spent most of today playing with my parents. He became one of those kids that didn't want to bother to eat or nap because he didn't want to stop playing. Day by day, he is becoming so much more independent; therefore confident. Our number one goal for him is a healthy self-esteem. So, to see him like this is very satisfying to the soul. When the day wound down, he finally ate. And, when it came to going to sleep, despite how proud he is of his accomplishments, he still wanted to cuddle with his mommy; the one he cherishes the most.
Needless to say, this has been a lot to handle. But, thanks to you for all of your contributions, you have added joy to our souls. You've eased the burden and helped my sweet wife stay the silly, caring young woman that I married before we even knew what Multiple Myeloma was. This one's for you!
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