Well, it has happened. It's getting too close but weighing all options this is the best thing for the time being. I am going to ask my doctor for a note saying I am released to work without restrictions. If I don't do this, I will lose our benefits. By benefits, I mean all medical, dental and vision. I NEED my medical at least. As we all know why. I have an ongoing medical issue that makes it where I need to keep medical.
This has been the hardest decision I have had to make. I have been so used to being home with Brandon since he was born almost a year ago, that all my daytime snuggles will be greatly missed. I am sure I will cry some my first day back. Ok, maybe not just some, but a lot. The longest I have been away from him was when I was in the hospital, but he was able to visit. He can't visit me while I am at work.
I'm not sure of my first day back. I just e-mailed my doctor and he is out of the office until the 26th. That's a long time. At least for me it is. I don't believe that any other doctor can write the note either. So, I obviously have my worries. Mainly that I will have a lapse in benefits and will have to skip October. So much I need to figure out. Just adds to the stress of it all.
One thing we have set is that my mother and father in law have said they are willing to help us out by watching Brandon while we are at work. One thing to help calm some of my stress. And, I know I would get pictures of Brandon while I am at work from them, and Eric. I'm just hoping that I won't have to work until really late. That I am off at a decent time. I already have an hour drive to and from work. That adds two hours to my ten hour day. It would be so much easier if I had been able to get another job already, but it is a long process.
I think what's making going back to work the hardest is missing Brandon growing up. I know I get three days off a week, but that's only three out of seven that I can be home with him. How do you other moms do it? How do you go back to work with a little one at home? I can't help but think of all the "what if's" and what I'll be missing. I won't miss him rolling over, crawling, first steps or first word. But I'll miss other words of his. Ugh! why is it so hard?
Enough rambling. I am sitting here with a little quiet time while Brandon naps in his pack n play and Kahlua, my fur baby, sleeps on the couch. Now, to try to do a little crafting while I have this quiet/calm time.
Fur baby
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