My Life As A New Mommy & Multiple Myeloma Warrior: Mother's Day

Today is Mother's Day. A day I have longed for for so long. I have been a fur mom for quite a while. Actually, since 2004 to my cat Elvis. He, unfortunately got really sick and went on to kitty heaven. He was a great cat! I was never a cat person until him. See, my ex Jay & I had some friends who adopted a stray cat. They soon found out she was pregnant. She had 4 kittens. Two boys and 2 girls. They were, oddly enough as I am remembering, born on Mother's Day. May 9, 2004. I got to meet these little funny looking creatures when they were just hours old. After a day, I decided I wanted Elvis. The reason I named him Elvis was because he was black and white with a white sneer look on his face. Like Elvis had. Well, the sneer like Elvis. The thing about my Elvis is, he acted like a dog. I think that's what made me so attached to him. He would sit for treats and lay down for me. He was a great cat! He even tolerated it when I got Kahlua in 2007.

Mr. Elvis

March 20, 2007 I became a fur mommy again. This time to my puppy Kahlua. She was a great addition. Although, I did let her walk all over me. Training her was hard. She was stubborn from day one. She was the epitome of going and looking for a dog who was one way, getting them home, and their true colors come out. She was the most calm puppy out of the litter that was left. She was calm the whole drive home. The first day or two she was calm and then she became this crazy hyper puppy. Obviously she felt at home. She tormented her "big brother" Elvis. Which, he just tolerated it. She taught herself how to throw balls with her mouth and run after them. Which made it annoying for my downstairs neighbor. Eventually we moved into the home we are in now. The condo. She took to the stairs fast. And, of course, my bed. She was sad when Elvis didn't come home from the vet. She moped around the house for a few days. she really didn't eat and only cuddled. She didn't know what happened. All she knew was, her big brother wasn't home.

Silly Kahlua

Elvis & Kahlua

Fast forward to July 2014 and Kahlua was now the "big sister". Eric & I welcomed our big boy Azul, or Blue, to the family. A Great Dane/Pit Bull mix. He was just as big as Kahlua is now as a puppy. Kahlua looked concerned at first. She wasn't so sure about him. But, like Elvis did for her, warmed up to him and tolerates him. It's a play mate. Azul went through puppy classes and passed with flying colors. His graduation picture was the cutest. He looks like he's smiling it in. It was one of the best pictures I've seen of a dog. Azul has a huge personality, but a short attention span. We can tell him something and he will listen, but a minute later (no, really, a minute later) he will have totally forgotten what we said and will go right back to doing what we said not to. The thing about Azul though is, he is very loving when he wants to be. Which really is all the time. But, the all the time is in a selfish way also. Thing is, I still love him.

Puppy Azul

Before I became another humans mommy on October 6, 2015, I was almost another humans mommy twice. The first time we found out was the middle of May 2014. We had been trying since February & it seemed like finally it was going to be. Then, on June 4, I started to have some spotting while getting ready for an overtime shift. Before I left for work, I was cramping a little. Then, on the way to work, my lower back was starting to bother me. It got to the point where I could ignore it and make a left and go to work or make the right and head to the ER. It was getting so bad, that I made the right. Sure enough, I had a miscarriage. I was devastated. I felt so lucky though to have my friend Summer who just happened to text me as I was getting there come and sit with me until Eric got there. She was truly a lifesaver. The second time I was going to be a humans mommy we found out on September 11, 2014. This one lasted a lot longer. Our first appointment we heard the heartbeat...and saw two sacs. Although, we could only see one fetus at the time. The next appointment there was only one sac and still a very strong heartbeat. We got to 10 weeks along and figured we were good to go ,so we announced our little bundle. At our 12 week appointment, there was unfortunately no heartbeat. We were very devastated with this one as well. Those 12 weeks, I felt like it was a girl. So, when I ended up having to give birth, so to say, in the ER 4 days later because I was going into labor, we named her Aspen Emilijia. Aspen after my favorite tree and Emilijia is the Lithuanian spelling of Emilia. We knew we wanted our heritage in the name somewhere. To this day I still feel like I feel her around me. Especially now. And especially since we now have 2 Aspen trees on our front porch. One took off fast, the other took a while, but we came home from Stanford the other day to some leaves on it now. That made me extremely happy.

The 1st Aspen tree

The 2nd Aspen tree

I decided, after that miscarriage, that we'd only try one more time. I couldn't do another miscarriage but still wanted to see if we could have one baby. February 24, 2015, I peed on a few (ok, A LOT) of sticks and found out we were pregnant again. This time, we didn't tell anybody. Well, except for a few close friends and my dad. We didn't say anything officially until May 10, 2015. We were well into the 2nd trimester. Everything was going well. I had morning sickness, but nothing I couldn't handle. I still worked out and kept moving. I was feeling great! Then, the cancer diagnosis came. With it, I had fears that I would end up leaving my son without a mother. I cried myself to sleep and cried myself awake for a few weeks thinking of that. Here, I was finally going to be a mommy to a human baby, and I have a cancer that is not curable right now. And, since I was pregnant, there were tests I couldn't do yet. So, we had no idea of what stage I was or anything.

October 6, 2015

October 6, 2015 would have to be the 2nd best day of my life. The day I became mommy to our amazing little boy. The little boy who really saved his mommy. Brandon has been the biggest joy in our lives. His furry brother and sister love him and he really is an easy baby...with the except of sleeping at night. He is now at the point where he will kick or push up against us. To the point we are clinging to the side of the bed to stay on. I know we should put him in his crib or bring the bassinet up stairs, but there is something comforting having him in bed with us. But, like I said, we really should stop this sleeping in our bed thing. We need our sleep too! In order to take care of him.

Family

So, on this day. My first Mother's Day to my own human baby. I thank him. I thank my little man for choosing me. For choosing to be our Rainbow baby. For making me the happiest mommy I could be. For putting a smile on my face everyday. No matter how many times he cries, or how upset he can be. No matter how tired he has made me or will make me. No matter how much he scares me with his crawling, standing and trying to walk around now and how he may scare me or make me worry in the future. I will always be so grateful, honored and happy that he chose me. He chose to stick. He chose to save his mommy. For that, I will be forever grateful.