Passed Out

Today was scary. Really scary. Not just for me, but especially for Eric. He was about to get ready for work and we decided to do my daily Neupogen shot (fertilizer for my stem cells) and Heparin flush of my catheter line. I stood in front of him, pants down a little and shirt pulled up some to expose my belly. We do the Neupogen shot in my belly. Basically, where there is the most fatty tissue. We could do it in the back of my arm, my thigh/butt cheek or tummy area. We chose the tummy. It's easiest. There are two profiled needles with the amount I need divided. One has 480 mcg and the other has 300 mcg. It doesn't matter the order we do them in. As long as the "fertilizer" gets in my system to help my stem cells grow and develop faster. Eric took an alcohol pad and cleaned an area on one side of my navel for one shot then gave me the shot. Then, took the other alcohol pad and cleaned another area on the other side of my navel and gave me the other shot. During that, I don't watch. I never watch a needle going into me. I can watch afterwards when they are taking blood for labs or I have an IV, but never watch a shot.

The next thing we do is the Heparin flush of my catheter line. The Heparin is an anticoagulant (blood thinner) that prevents the formation of blood clots. This line is going into the superior vena cava. It makes it easier for blood draws, administering me chemotherapy, taking out my stem cells, and giving me my stem cells back in. Eric was getting everything ready and as usual, I was helping him. Making sure he cleaned the valve and then opened the line. He had one tube of Heparin attached ready to go when I passed out.

You see, I was kneeling down next to him when he was going to do this procedure. I had one hand on the coffee table and the other was free to assist him as needed. As I was kneeling there, I started to feel a little nauseous. So, I just started to breath. Then, a wave of what felt like I was sweating profusely came over me, but I wasn't sweating. Next, everything slowly got muffled. All sound. The tv. Eric talking. Brandon babbling in his bassinet. Azul's claws clacking on the laminate flooring. Everything was muffled. Next thing I remember is me, laying on the floor. Erics arm behind my head. Eric kneeling down looking over me asking if I was ok. Asking if I could hear him. Asking me if I knew what happened. It took me a minute to realize what had happened, and then I started to get tears in my eyes and was scared. I knew I wasn't out very long. But scared that it even happened. As I lay there, trying to figure out what happened to make me pass out, Eric told me he was calling in and I slowly started to sit up to get up and sit in a chair and get some water.

The daily process

Eric then, holding Brandon because at this time Brandon was crying and fussing wanting attention, started to call neighbors to come over and help him with Brandon. First, our neighbor Kathy who helps us with the dogs. But she wasn't at home. Next, Cindy next door, but she didn't answer and he left a message. Then, Rebecca, a few doors down. Again, another message left. As I sat there, I heard the door next door close and then a knock on our door. It was Cindy. Then, a few minutes later, another knock on the door and it was Rebecca's husband Brad with their son Wesley. As I sat there, I was really embarrassed. I hate being in a vulnerable position. It's actually made me very insecure the rest of the day. While sitting there, Kellie from oncology called for Eric. She was calling because she had a doctors note for him for work and wanted to let him know. He told her what happened and they talked about it and she told him to bring me in so she could see me. By the way, this whole time I am told I was pale. But there was color in my lips.

Once everything was situated, Eric finished the Heparin flush and while Cindy stayed to help watch Brandon, who had fallen asleep on her at this point, and to watch me while he showered and got ready to go. The thing Eric realized too, after the fact, was that he should have called 9-1-1. He, like I probably would have, spaced on that. All he could think about was making sure I was ok and woke up and getting help. We got to Kaiser a little later and Kellie also said the same thing. So had my friend Vanessa on Eric's status update on Facebook. We both realize we needed to do that. Next time, and hopefully there isn't a next time, we will.

After Kaiser we ran a few errands and then got home. I have felt off the rest of the day. Tired. I was feeling weak last night. But figured it was just from the Neupogen shots. I even told our medical social worker that this morning when she checked in on us and she said that was normal. Now, we are all in bed. Brandon passed out and myself writing while Eric cuts his hair. I am about to go to sleep I am exhausted.

So, it was a scary day, but we learned something from it. I am still here. And ready for all of this process to be done and my transplant over. But, just a few more weeks. For now, I am off to bed. Good night!