There's this girl. She's pretty cool. To be honest, when I think back to how we met, it was almost like a blind date of sorts. You see, we met the summer of 2000 through a mutual friend. If I remember correctly, it was just another Friday night where a bunch of us were meeting at the bar (country bar). I was friends with Kathy who I met at that bar through another friend Steve who worked the door there. This Friday night Kathy brought her friend Karen. They had been friends since high school.
When we met, we did the usual introductions and then got on to talking, dancing, meeting new people, drinks, and more dancing. It was a country bar. We exchanged phone numbers and made plans to hang out again. Sounds just like dating, right? We had hit it off. The last time I hit it off with a female like this was in high school with my friend Kelly. We seemed to just click. We had a lot of the same interests and what we wanted in life, hobbies, etc. From that night, we were almost inseparable. With the exception of when we had to work or made other plans.
That summer was a great summer. I made a lot of memories. Most of them, if not all of them, involved Karen. I learned a lot from her. I feel like that summer I really grew up, and I think she had a little to do with it. I'll admit, I was naive back then. I was in my early 20's. Ok, 21, almost 22. I hadn't had a lot of life experiences or really done anything until that summer. And all of the memories from that summer have Karen in them. Parties at friends houses, boat races, dinners, rodeos, pool parties, line dancing, sleep overs (yes, I'm calling them sleepovers), and my 22nd birthday. I have pictures upon pictures documenting that summer. And they all have to do with Karen.
My first long term relationship started in some ways because of her. One Tuesday night we went to the country bar we always went to that night of the week. Yes, we had certain places we went to on certain nights of the week. That night, both of us determined we were not going to drink. And, we didn't. We did decide to have fun. In between line dances we knew, we would walk around the bar checking out the guys. Now, at these bars, it wasn't just "cowboys" at them. There were your regular guys, muscle heads, surfers, skaters, etc. There was one guy who we would walk past intentionally, a few times, for me. About an hour or so into the night we ended up slapping some of the guys on the butts, but I could never slap that one guy. I was too embarrassed. I kept telling Karen how I thought he was kind of cute. About 2 hours later, we were standing at the tables over by the rest of our friends and I was looking across the dance floor and saw this guy staring our direction. I was trying not to stare back, but I couldn't help it because I could really tell if he was or not. So, I asked Karen if she thought he was. She looked and thought he was too. Next thing we knew he was walking our way. And, he asked me to dance. At the end of the night at this bar they would play all Chris LeDoux songs. Some slow and some fast 2 steps. We danced a few dances and then left the bar to our cars together. Phone numbers were exchanged and a date made. Because of my "wing girl" Karen, I ended up in my first long term relationship.
That relationship, 7 months later, moved me over 400 miles away here to Northern California. He had a job transfer and asked me if I wanted to come with him, and I did. It was a tough decision. I'd be moving away from my family who I had only been away from for 5 months at a time before, and all of my friends. The only people I would know there was him, his sister and her then boyfriend and friends from college. But, I felt this relationship was worth it and I went with him. Out of all of my friends in Southern California at the time, Karen was one who really kept in touch with me, and me with her. We emailed, wrote letters/cards and had phone calls every now and then. When I would go home to visit, I made sure to see Karen. We did all of this before Myspace, Facebook and Instagram. Before the Social Media craze. She was the one friend who came to visit me up here in Northern California also, until Kristy.
Now, I used to watch Greys Anatomy religiously. There was the main character Meredith Grey and her friend/coworker Cristina Yang. Meredith called Cristina her "person". You know, the one person you go to about everything. The person you confide in. The person you tell your deepest darkest secrets to. Cristina was Merediths person. For me, I have a few. But Karen was the original "person". Anything that happened in my life, I told Karen. Anything. When my relationship with ended with the first long term relationship guy, she was the first person I told. By that time, there was Myspace and Facebook. The relationship had ended right before her wedding reception that I was flying down for. Her wedding was hard for me, but at the same time, I was so excited for her. She had found her guy.
When Karen started having kids, I knew I wanted to be there for them. I may be over 400 miles away, but with each of her 3 daughters, I made plans to visit, if not at the time they were born, then soon after. With her first, I went for a visit a month after. And, I went down for the weekend just to visit Karen & Tracy and to meet their daughter. The weekend was all about them. The next two, I just happened to be on vacation when they were born. I make my vacations in October of the previous year for the whole year to come. Her second was born the end of my vacation and her third decided to start to come on her own a few days before my vacation started. So, I've been able to meet the 3 amazing girls early in their lives. Of course, seeing them is few and far in-between since I live so far away, but they really are amazing girls. All have totally different personalities and I connect with each of them in a different way.
I had Karen as my matron of honor in my wedding. I honestly couldn't pick between her and Kristy. In some ways, they both were anyway. A few short 6 months later, when Eric and I decided to start trying for a baby, she was one of the first to know. She had some insights and advice and told me about an app for tracking ovulation that she had used. When we found out we were pregnant the first time, she was one of the first to know. And as I sat in the hospital bed in the ER, she was one of the first to know about the miscarriage. Same went for the 2nd pregnancy and miscarriage. The 3rd pregnancy, she was THE first (after Eric) person to know because I was going to be in Southern California for a Perfectly Posh event and staying the first few nights with her. And since we had plans for Disneyland, we decided against it since I was pregnant and didn't want to risk anything. Really, it was my choice. I didn't want to risk anything that may make me lose this one. And, she understood.
My rehearsal dinner August 2013 on the left, Las Vegas for Perfectly Posh 2014 on the right
I'm going to back track a little. In April 2014, Karen introduced me to Perfectly Posh products. These are naturally based pampering products. I bought a few items, tried them, and LOVED them. We talked about me possibly becoming a consultant. We also talked about the Unconventional event Perfectly Posh was having that year in August in Las Vegas. She asked if I wanted to go with her, whether I was a consultant or not, I was able to. So, I decided I wanted to and Eric thought it was a good idea also. By May 1st, I ended up becoming a consultant. These products felt good and I couldn't help but make a little extra money while sharing something I believed in and made me feel good. After my 1st miscarriage, I ended up deciding I needed to get in shape. No more "yo-yo" exercising. I needed to be more disciplined. Again, Karen was a Beachbody coach. She had posted result pictures that really got my attention. I knew if she could do it, I could too. So, I ordered the Focus T25 workout with Shakeology from her. And, 2 weeks into having this program, I decided to become a coach also. I was already seeing results in just those 2 weeks and being in the accountability group made me motivated to share this with the world. That summer felt good to really get back to ME. Not just from working out and getting healthy again, but really making time for me and pampering myself with my Posh products. I hadn't done that in a long time. Las Vegas was really the icing on the cake for it also. To be around that many men and women who felt the same way as us about the products and learning about the products. Making new friends whom I am so happy to have. It was also a good trip for Karen and mines relationship also. We had never had a weekend away just us or even with other friends that wasn't at each others homes. To go through that experience with Karen was a great one. It really made me feel like our friendship was rejuvenated. Not that it needed rejuvenating, but that we got back to us. It almost felt like the summer of 2000 again, minus all the drinking/bars and all.
Fast forward to August 2015. When I was diagnosed. I don't know why, but it was tough telling Karen. Not for anything negative, I don't know why it was tough to tell her. It just was. Looking back, I think it was tough, because I was still in the shocked phase. The phase where we had see the life expectancy and I was very sad. Thinking I only had 3-5 years to live. In some ways, I felt like I was putting a burden on her. A burden I didn't want to put. But, we talked. She, like Kristy, was a voice of reason. Of course, like me, she was wondering what it meant for Brandon. We talked about how my oncologist was talking about possibly taking him early. How within a week or 2 of that day he could be here. But, we had to see what the next tests said and how I responded to the initial steroids and treatment I was going to be starting. She told me she was there to support me.
Luckily, because I wasn't able to make it to Southern California for a baby shower there, she was able to come up for the one I was having here. And like I mentioned in my post about Kristy, she coordinated with her and both came up the same days. It was amazing having both of them in my home at the same time. Having them here for my shower and to help me shop for items for Brandon was amazing. They helped take care of me. Giving Eric a break to relax. They made sure I was feeling ok. As I mentioned before, we went to 5 Targets in 4 days. It wasn't until near the end of the trip that we decided to try to see how many we could get to. We took a picture in front of one of the Targets. It was on the way to the airport on the last day and after we stopped at Kaiser so I could do my labs I needed to do. As we left Kaiser, Karen mentioned that we should have taken a picture in front of the hospital. Well, the sign at least. It was, through that weekend, part of the trip.
Before Brandon was born, Karen put together a Go Fund Me for us. It was to bank Brandon's cord blood. My doctor said it was a good idea to do since we could possibly use it for me for a transplant should we need it. In order to bank the blood though, we needed about $5000. With all the shares and donations, we ended up with more than enough to do a 20 year storage. We were originally going for the 5 year. Thanks to Karen, we were able to do it.
After Brandon was born, Karen and I started to figure out when she could come visit and meet him. What started as her coming alone, ended up being a Christmas break family vacation with Tracy and the girls. That made me very happy. I love her girls like they were my own nieces. So, to have them visit here and get to meet Brandon also, was amazing. Eric, Brandon and myself ended up going up to Lake Tahoe with them one of the days they were here. Brandon first trip to Tahoe and the snow. It was so much fun. By the end of the day, Karen and her family were doing rides on snow mobiles while Eric and I watched. We opted out of it since Brandon was really cold and for me, my back was starting to hurt by the end of the day. I was just having fun being around them and visiting. The night ended with them coming over for a little bit to our house to visit. The girls got to see and love on Brandon some more before going back to the hotel and leaving to head back home.
Each visit from Karen recharges me. Whether it's here or in Southern California or in Las Vegas. I feel like I am recharged. I feel like I get my voice of reasoning back and all is well and good again. Karen helps me fight harder. Nobody is perfect. That is my motto, but her parenting style and how she has brought up her girls, I try to do the same with Brandon. Like I did in dispatching. I took a little experience from each of my trainers and that is what moulded me as a dispatcher. For me, I have taken a little bit of my friends style of parenting and that is what is moulding me as a parent. Karen is a big part of that. Probably because I have asked her for opinions and picked her brain on it since day one. And, she has sent me information and gave me corrective criticism. Which I need. I'm an older parent, I guess you can say. Being that I didn't have a child until my late 30's. But watching Karen over the years has helped me.
Karen is my person. Or, at least one of them. She is my soul friend. Like a soulmate, but only a friend. I know if we cane make it through the last 16 years and maybe 4 or 5 of those being without Facebook and social media, I know we can make it another 16 and more. And, I plan on fighting and being around for more than 16 years. So, Karen, you are stuck with me. 16+ years gives us MANY more Target trips and selfies in front of Target. We will be old and gray(er) for me, taking selfies in front of Targets and shopping at as many as we can in a weekend visit. It's going to happen. I am determined to make it happen.
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