This post is about that kind of friend. And one in particular today. My friend Kristy Smith. You see, we've been friends since junior high. Through high school (same school as our junior high) we would talk every now and then, but had a little bit different group of friends we hung out with. After graduation, we lost contact. Then, because of Facebook, we found each other again and would catch up through messages and pictures. When my last relationship ended because I caught him cheating, she was the first to call me to see if I was ok. And she and her family were on their way back from a holiday gathering.
She, along with my friend Karen, were the 1st two I told about my new relationship after that one. Then, on April 14, 2011, everything changed. Not in our friendship, but in her health life. She was diagnosed with breast cancer. After she made her family rounds of calling and telling them about the diagnosis, I got a call. I was devastated, but she she reassured me that she was going to beat it. She was putting her big girl panties & boxing gloves on and was going to kick cancers a$$! And I knew she would. She had her own little Army along with her to help her through it.
She elected to have a bilateral mastectomy. Then went through chemotherapy and radiation. During that timeI would check in on her. See how she was feeling and how she was doing. For our birthdays (they are only 5 days apart) we went wine tasting in Temecula. It was one of the best trips I had in Southern California. The day started off with an amazing breakfast both Kristy and her husband Tom made. Eggs Benedict. And, to start the wine tasting day off, we had mimosas. Yum! I had never been wine tasting in Temecula, so this was a really fun day. Trying different wineries in that area. I have to say, my favorite wine of the day was the Late Harvest Chardonnay from Wilson Creek. Which, Kristy recently told me, that bottle is now an expensive bottle. I don't remember the price, but it's a lot more than it was back in 2011. We also had lunch at Wilson Creek. Nice little cafe/restaurant with amazing food.
Us at Longshadow Winery Temecula
The following year Kristy and Tom came up here to Northern California for my birthday. I had the Color Run that day, but afterwards Kristy, Tom, Eric, & myself all headed to Napa County to a barrel tasting at Clos Pegase. We had a really fun time. I remember one of the rooms in the cave area the Sommelier kept serving us multiple tastings of that wine. The place had amazing art on the grounds. Like a giant thumb. Odd, but cool at the same time. After the tasting, we came home and made smothered filet mignon. Sauted mushrooms with cartelized onions and blue cheese topped the filets. The next day, a big group of us went wine tasting in Amador County. Unfortunately Eric couldn't go, but he did meet us for dinner that night. The weekend went by too fast, and Monday came and Tom & Kristy had to go home. Yet another amazing weekend with them.
Kristy & Me at Clos Pegase
A few years past before we were in each others presence again. But, as I said before, we picked up where we left off. This time, it was for Eric and mines wedding in August 2013. Tom couldn't make it since he works for Cal Fire and of course, it's summer, fire season. And it was yet another busy year since we had been having a drought for a few years. But, Kristy came with her mom. The first night we had a low key bachelorette party at one of the other brides maids houses. Then, the next day we had the rehearsal dinner and I stayed with Kristy and her mom in their hotel room. We made the bouquets, had cupcakes and wine and just talked. The next morning was the wedding and while getting ready we had mimosas. The 2 other bridesmaids came, along with my friend Christine who did my make-up and my friend Colleen who did my hair. The day was an amazing day. Marrying my best friend having my best friends by my side. It was a very calm and fast ceremony and just what we wanted. After the ceremony we did some wine tasting. Kristy found a coaster that was fitting for the time also. A breast cancer one. So, we took a picture with it.
At my wedding 8/2/13
We didn't get to see each other again until the following year when she and their boys came up to visit before going to Toms graduation from the Cal Fire academy for Engineer. At that time I was pregnant. It was a very fun and exciting time. Eric, Kristy, the boys, and myself all went up to Apple Hill for one of the days before meeting Tom for dinner in Folsom. I couldn't wine taste but Eric and Kristy did at Jodar. We can't skip Jodar when we are up there. The boys were bored, but they had their caramel apples and were happy with those. When we were done there, it was off to dinner and to meet up with Tom at Chicago Fire pizza. Unfortunately, the dinner went too fast and Tom was off back to the academy in Amador County and we were back at our house. The next morning I drove Kristy and the boys to the Cal Fire academy. It was bittersweet to have to drop them off. Each visit seems too short, but I always know we will see each other again. I unfortunately ended up losing that pregnancy. Eric and I were devastated, and Kristy was there via phone to comfort me as a good friend is. She's really like a sister to me.
At Chicago Fire
Fast forward to last year. 2015. In February of last year Eric and I found out we were pregnant again. This was going to be the last time we tried because I didn't think I could face another loss (we actually had 2 miscarriages). I kept Kristy & Karen in the loop on how things were going until Eric and I were ready to announce to everybody that we were having a baby. Which wasn't until I was 15 weeks along. I would let them know how things were going every week or longer and we were making plans for a possible trip for myself or Eric and myself down to Southern California for a baby shower down there. Then, on August 10, 2015 at a routine prenatal check up my protein levels in my urine were still very high. So my OB Dr. K got on the phone and got me an appointment with a kidney doctor that day. As I explained before, I met with her, had more labs done and waited. A week later I had results. I sent Karen a message via Facebook and Kristy a text about the abnormal results. Of course, both of them told me not to jump to conclusions and just meet with the Oncologist when I had the appointment. August 19th came and the results were malignant. Kristy and I were now sisters in cancer. Not the same cancer, but with A cancer. I felt like sisters, and now we shared something else. It took a little bit to tell both her and Karen. I made the family calls first and then it was Karen and Kristy. Of course, talking to both of them made me feel better for the conversations. Both of them said I was going to fight and beat it. I was going to kick cancers a$$.
What all of this meant was, Eric & weren't going to Southern California for a baby shower. So, since we weren't going there, Karen and Kristy came here. That was an amazing weekend. Having two of my best friends here, together, in my home. It was great. The short weekend was filled with laughter, very little sleep, crafting, baby stuff and of course, Target! We went to 5 different Targets in 3 days. Yep, 5 in 3 days. I think the next time they are both here we need to make it to more. Maybe have a day where we just go to Target. Whether we buy something or not. We go and take pictures in front or inside them. What do you say ladies? Haha! Again, that weekend went by way too fast. But it was something I really needed. I need some of my closest friends for a weekend. The ones I really don't get to see much since they live over 400 miles away.
Kristy, Karen & Me in front of A Target
Where all of this is going is, today Kristy has been 5 years and counting cancer free! I am so proud of her. I never had any doubt that she wouldn't fight like a girl and kick cancers a$$. Through the last 8 months of my battle, I have taken her motto (which I know isn't just hers) and have fought like a girl with my burgundy boxing gloves (since that's the color of MM) on. Even though I can't get rid of my cancer forever, right now, I am planning on being in "complete response" for a long time. People say that after a stem cell transplant that it's usually about a 3 year time period before it comes back, but I am hoping that my health will hold out a lot longer. Kristy and I, at her last trip up here in February, got a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon from Jodar (our favorite winery up here in El Dorado County) that we were told would be excellent in 10 years. So, Mitch in the wine room wrote on the bottle for us to hold and open in 2016. At that time, Kristy will be 15 years cancer FREE and I am hoping to be 10 years in "complete response" since mine will always be there. Lurking. The bottle is collecting dust in our wine bottle holder. But that's ok. It's just aging for Kristy, Tom, Eric, and me to drink and toast to kicking cancers a$$ and many many many years of friendship!
February when Kristy came up to visit & meet Brandon
Our bottle of wine we are holding for 2026
Kristy, I am so very proud of you. When I was diagnosed, after the shock, sadness and pain subsided, I knew I had a role model to follow in my fight. I couldn't think of a better person, friend, "sister" to have as a cancer beating role model than you. Thank you for being such an amazing friend and role model. And yes, this post took me a while to write because I had to keep wiping tears. I love you like the sister I never had.
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