To Our Helpers

Goofy boy with daddy's sweat band on Grandpa Hoover

I think this post is long overdue. I've been diagnosed for 10 months now with Multiple Myeloma. Of course, it's turned our world upside down. What cancer doesn't do that to any person or family? Since my diagnosis and since we came out and let people know about it, we have had an outpouring of help. So many people. No matter how small the gesture or help or how big, have helped us out in one way or another.

All smiles with Nanny & Grandpa Hoover

There are people who made food for us. That's something we really didn't think about. It's helped a lot in the sense that it's one last thing we've had to think about. We just pull that meal out of the freezer or refrigerator and heat it up. No thinking in what to make or what ingredients to get. Just turn on the oven and let it do the work. And the meals we've gotten have been delicious! And really, if you'd like, you can keep them coming. At least a few. We have a counter depth refrigerator, so there's not as much storage in our freezer and refrigerator spots.

Being silly with Grandpa Hoover

To those who have spent a few hours just hanging out. So I could rest or even we end up talking and catching up. Even those small mental breaks have helped. Especially when Eric or myself can sleep. We don't sleep very well lately. Between Brandon and not knowing what's next with treatment to not knowing if I'm going to be sick the next morning or not. It makes it tough to get a full good nights sleep. We expected it with having a new baby. We were ready to deal with that part, but then the cancer diagnosis came and that made things even worse. So, the time spent with us or even letting us sleep has been very much appreciated.

 Visiting in the hospital

In front of the apartments after visiting mommy

To the friends and family who took Brandon for the day so Eric and I could have some alone time. We know Brandon had so much fun with you guys. From the pictures and your texts. Not to mention, his attitude when you brought him back to us. It shows how much love he has in his life. How many people love and adore him. We like to think he's such a calm and easy baby because of us, when really, it's you guys also. He has such a great "family" unit around him. Teaching him. Helping him grow. He definitely knows how much he's loved. And we can see it also.

 Grandpa Kevin and the Minion

 Koi fish with Grandpa Kevin

Doggie statue with Grandpa Kevin

Then there are those of you who help from afar. Those who live miles and miles away. Who are not able to physically be here to help. Thank you for the gift cards for restaurants, grocery stores, VISA gift cards, etc. Believe me, they are appreciated beyond words. It gives Eric and I a date night. It gives us a little extra when we may be running low on funds due to prescriptions and copays. It helps us get formula, food and diapers for Brandon in those times also.

 Sleepy visiting mommy

Smiley for Grandpa Kevin

Last, the help we've had while at Stanford. Our neighbor who helped take care of the dogs while we were gone. We and the dogs love you for it. We were so worried about who would take care of them and afraid we were going to have to board them. Which would mean more money. Then, to my dad for coming up to Stanford and when we lost the apartment, staying and helping here at home with Brandon until you had to get back. We appreciate and love you so much for that. To my mother and father in law for coming all those weeks or days to Stanford to help us with Brandon also. And making all the meals for us. All of it is so much appreciated. I know for all of you, my dad and my mother and father in law, you had to take time away from your regular days/weeks to come to Stanford. For that, we appreciate it so much. And I know it makes Brandon and yourselves happy to be able to spend that time with him. He's growing and developing so fast right now, you all got to be apart of it. If at least for a little bit.

With Grandpa Kevin

To everybody, and especially our parents, thank you! Everything is so much appreciated and I don't think we can tell you enough. Thank you and we love you all!

With Grandpa Hoover & Cousin Alyssa

Day +19 - Day After Appointment

Day +19. 19 Days after my transplant. Yesterday we went to Stanford for a follow up appointment of labs and to hopefully get my catheter out. Especially since we didn't have any other appointments scheduled for that part of the process. Next appointment there is with Dr. W in the clinic area. Not the treatment area.

We were called and told to allow an extra 90 minutes to get there because President Obama was going to be at Stanford University for a speech. So, we did. And there was NO traffic. We got there 90 minutes early. Luckily they took us early. About an hour early. But, after everything was done, we were out of there about the time we would have if we were taken at the right time. But, with everything that went on and we were told, I am ok with that.

On the way home, after the great news

We had labs drawn first. Since those take about an hour to come back. Those came back and everything was looking great. Well, my potassium was a bit low for them, but otherwise it's fine. They gave me potassium pills to take after I ate last night. Then, we were told that yes, my catheter was coming out yesterday. That was exciting! It made me happy because now, even though I am sore today a bit, I can hold Brandon and not have to worry about him trying to pull or yank on it.

After about 2 hours or so, we were moved to a bed from a chair so I would be ready for the nurse practitioner (NP) to take my catheter out. When the NP came in, she talked to us about the procedure and then left to get the supplies to take out the catheter. Right here is where I started to get nervous. Because 1, I was going to be awake....and 2, I didn't know if it was going to hurt or not.  I knew she was going to numb it with Lidocaine, but I still had no clue. Of course, the lidocaine hurt the most. But I still winced when she was tugging and pulling. There was a little "velcro" like piece on the tube to help keep it in place. So, even if Brandon had tugged and pulled on it, I don't think he would have gotten it out. The NP had to push my skin open a bit with a tool in order to maneuver the catheter out. Then, once she got the "velcro" part out, she let Eric pull the rest of it out. Funny thing is, I thought he was still pulling and was making a wincing face when he was actually done. They both had to tell me that it was out at least twice before I realized it.

My catheter that we got to keep

Once it was out, she put some gauze on it and placed a small sandbag on it to help any possible bleeding stop. I sat there with it on my chest for about 10 minutes. She came back in and checked out the hole and then placed the steri strips on it. I keep them on until they fall off on their own. She's also a NP after my own heart. She put so many on it. Something I would have done. Just to make sure. Then, she placed a piece of gauze on top of that in case it started to bleed through on our way home. No need for blood to get on my shirt. Especially my new Irma from Lularoe I love so much.

Once done with the catheter part, she said we were all set to go. She made sure to tell us that everybody was going to miss us because we were young and so positive. Because, they don't see many people with Multiple Myeloma as young as I am coming in there. We had also let her know how we found out about my MM because she didn't know the whole story. She was so surprised and called Brandon a little lifesaver. Which, that's what we've been saying since we found out about my MM. The last thing she told us, which made me tear up, was that there is no sign of cancer in my body. Yep, you read that right. I am in complete response! Of course, I am still tired and still "healing" from my transplant, but I have no cancer in my body. So, that's the really good news.

The new "bandage" until it falls off...steri strips

Now, we just wait the rest of the 100 days. I have 80 left to go. That's the time for totally recuperation. Right now, I'm still pretty tired easily. Especially if I overdo it. I try not to, but it is in my nature to do a lot. Traveling especially tires me out. I found that out yesterday. Even if I'm not physically doing anything there, I still get really exhausted. It makes it so the next day I am so tired I sleep. Today, I took a 3 hour nap. And Brandon slept with me for about 2 of that. He always sleeps better, at least naps, when one of us is in the bed with him.

So, for now, we sit and celebrate calmly the great news. No eating out still. Until Day +30, but that's ok. I think going out to eat would be too exhausting on me right now. So, we hang out at home. Run a few errands every now and then and just relax. It's what the doctor ordered!

Being a Mommy With Cancer & Having An Infant

I know nobody wishes they got cancer. Most people I know wish there was a cure already for all cancers and even some post those pictures or saying that say "I wish cancer got cancer and died". Believe me, I've reposted things like that on social media before. Before I was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma I posted those kind of things a lot. because I have been the family member or friend who was on the other side. Not really knowing or understanding, but supporting. Doing what I could to be there for them. The most recent was 5 years ago when my really good friend, a best friend, Kristy was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. I cried, laughed and talked with her from over 400 miles away. It was what I could do. It is what she's done for me.

I will be honest. There is no history of cancer in my family on either side that we all know of. So, when I was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma, it came as a huge shock. Especially since I was 28 weeks pregnant. I cried myself to sleep a lot in the few weeks after my diagnosis. Eric and I tried a few times to get pregnant. I know not as many as many couples, but for my older age, it was a lot to me. The first miscarried at 6 weeks. The second, at 12, almost 13 weeks. So, for my pregnancy, I was already scared every day. Every check up. It was a tough thing to try to feel so happy and excited. To show the happiness and excitement. But deep down, feeling so scared every day. Each check up I could breath a little easier once I heard that heartbeat or saw that cute little body on the screen. The thing that made me uneasy also was the high protein levels in my urine each visit starting around 19 or 20 weeks along. At least I knew I didn't have preeclampsia since my blood pressure was low.

At my check up around 27 weeks, my doctor got on the phone right away to talk to a Nephrologist. A kidney doctor. I remember that appointment well because my mother in law came to this appointment also. The first time she came to one. I'm not sure how she felt when my doctor started to talk about the protein levels and called the Nephrologist, but I do know I was nervous. Because I had been so scared through the whole pregnancy about losing it. Luckily, I got in that same day to see the Nephrologist. We talked a little about what was going on and she ordered some more labs for me to do. She told me they may take about a week or so to come back, but she would let me know what she found. So, labs were done and the wait began. Everything kept coming back normal until the last test. The test that made her refer me to a Hematologist, or an Oncologist. At 28 weeks pregnant I was diagnosed.

Now, after the shock. The crying myself to sleep at night. The walking and sitting around like a zombie almost, was over, I thought to myself, how do I tell my son his mommy has cancer. It's not like he was old enough to sit down and talk to him about it. To tell him mommy has a boo boo that is making her sick. He wasn't born yet. And once he was here, I still wouldn't be able to do that. It'll be years before I can. He is 8 1/2 months old now. Corrected age, since I had him five weeks early, is 7 months. He doesn't know why we have so many doctors appointments we go to. Why a lot of his "family" are the Oncology nurses and my Oncologist. He doesn't know why mommy has no hair. Why sometimes she feels so sick and weak she can barely hold him. Why she has these, to him, awesome tubes coming out of her chest that look like something to yank and play with. He doesn't know any of that. But, he is a happy healthy baby anyway.

Trying to go through cancer treatments while having an infant is really hard. There is no manual on how to do it. Nobody can tell you how to get through it all. I didn't start my chemotherapy until five weeks after he was born. Then, I was on a 28 day cycle. I did 6 of them before going in to start my stem cell transplant process. The first couple of weeks I would get sick three days after. That was tough to try to feed, change and take care of him and the dogs while my husband was at work while feeling so under the weather I thought he was going to be neglected. Eventually, we got on a rhythm and my husband ended up staying home on those days. Which helped out a lot. Once we realized that I would get sick in the mornings and by about noon or 1:00pm I would be fine, he went back to work but in the evenings on that day.

The hardest part of my treatment has been my stem cell transplant process. When it started, I got my catheter put in. You know, the awesome tubes coming from my chest that he thinks are play toys. Then, I had a full day of chemotherapy that wiped me out. Which meant I could have our mommy and son time we usually have. That's when I started to not be able to change his diapers and be around his spit up. It was tough because without help, everything was on my husband. We finally got some help, and then I was back to being able to change some diapers again because my stem cells had been extracted. A few weeks later, we were back at that same routine. The routine we are in now and still have 85 days left of. I started two more chemotherapy days which really wiped me out. This time more than the last. It was the start of the horrible week long, seven day, stay in the hospital. Where I had to be away from my son. I had a fever, was sick and really weak. I think I was the weakest I have ever been. I know it was harder for me than him to be away from him for that long. And, especially at night. But, I am back with him now and I know I personally sleep better than I did for those seven days.

Right now, all of this definitely hurts me more than him. I get emotional over some things. Okay, a lot of things. I fell like he hasn't been able to have a normal babyhood yet. It's all doctors appointments as I've said before. But, we do try to throw in some fun every now and then. One thing that does keep me positive through all of this, is knowing he did save my life. He was warning us early on there was something wrong. Not with him. But with me. Slowly it crept in and my doctor got the right tests done to find it. Once he is old enough, we will sit him down and tell him what happened. We will tell him how he saved his mommy's life. How he may not have had an "normal" early months, but we made the best of it.

Being a mommy with cancer to an infant is not east. I said it already. I will say it again. I will keep saying it. No matter how strong you think you are, you are never ready for what cancer, cancer treatment and having to take care of an infant can do to you. They say parenthood the more exhausting time of your life. Then, add in cancer and treatment. I've never felt this exhaustion. And I don't think I ever will again. But honestly, I can't say I would change it for anything. Well, maybe I wouldn't be diagnosed with cancer. But, nobody can say never to that one. You just never know if or when your time is. And, if it does come to you, just be positive and work your way through it. Positivity, my husband and especially my sons faces have been what's gotten be through it all. Not to mention the support from family and friends. You really do find out who truly cares for you when you are diagnosed with cancer. Then add having a new infant and you have more support.

Day +14 Follow Up Appointment Day

Today is day +14. That means it's been 14 days since I had my stem cell transplant. This morning we drove out to Stanford for my follow-up appointment to see how I am doing. We gave us well over enough time to get there since we didn't want to feel rushed. So, since we were there about an hour and a half early, we went over to the main University campus, waked around and went to the Bookstore to look around also. It was kind of a dream since growing up and swimming I always wanted to go to Stanford. It was really neat to walk around the small part we did and just be on the campus. I felt really good walking around also, which is really good for my healing/recovery.

After about 45 minutes, we drove back over to the hospital to go to my appointment. Unfortunately, we didn't have any help with Brandon, so Eric couldn't go back with me, but that was okay. I wasn't back there too long. Just long enough to have labs drawn, see the nurse practitioner make my next appointment. In all, about an hour. But, when I got back there, a lot of the nurses remembered me and they all said how amazing and great I was looking.

About 30 minutes into my appointment, my labs started to come back. Really about the time I started talking to the nurse practitioner who had been there since transplant day. She was in the room doing the checkoff when I had my transplant. She came over with a HUGE smile on her face. Not knowing if it was because she was happy to see me looking good like the rest of the nurses or because of the lab results, I smiled back with a big smile also. Come to find out, it was because of both. She was so happy to see me looking so good and back to my "normal" self and because of my labs. My labs were REALLY good for day +14. As in, my numbers have grown so much since Friday and I don't have to wear the Darth Vader mask anymore. Well, except for going in and out of the Cancer Center. That's two the only time I need to wear it. I still have to be on the low microbial diet, so no restaurants or fast food, for another two weeks. But, I can do that.

Now, for the best part. This Friday we go back to Stanford. Yes, twice in one week, but this is good. We go back for the LAST time. Yep! You read right, the LAST time. On Friday I go in, have labs drawn, have my catheter taken out (WOOHOO THANK YOU!!!!!) and then see my doctor, Dr. W. It's going to be a long day/week, but so worth it in the end when we don't have to come back for a very long time. As in, probably when my cancer comes back. But, now we know what to expect.

I know I say is almost every post, but thank you everybody who has supported us through all of this. Never doubted us, helped us and everything else. It really means a lot. We don't need money, we just need physical help. Especially home cooked meals. Those are very much appreciated too!

Day +10

Today I am day +10 after my transplant. I know I haven't written in a while, but it's because I had those few really bad days likes the doctors and nurses said I would. Fevers, very tired, throwing up, everything. Today, all of that, well, except for  the tiredness, if under control. The tiredness will be going on for a while. I've mentioned it before, but there is a 100 day period from transplant. Kind of like an incubation period. I'll be able to go outside and stuff, but sometimes with my HEPA mask and others without. At least, that's what I'm figuring. The mask thing at least.

For now, I sit here in my hospital room at Stanford, bored. I have things to do, but they don't sound that appealing right now. I just want to be home, with Eric & Brandon. In my own bed. In a place I know. The good thing is, I SHOULD be able to be discharged to home by tomorrow. Fingers crossed! I feel lonely being here by myself. Even before, I was able to have visitors and Eric staying with me. The only thing that changed that was losing the apartment because I was admitted. The only way we had the apartment was because I was there. So, here we are. My family home in Sacramento and me here in the hospital at Stanford. Yay!

I'll be honest, the best news so far is hearing this morning I could go home tomorrow. We just need to see what my labs tonight say. They do labs at 6:00pm. So, we wait all day until they are done and come back. If they are not high enough, they will order another set for 6:00am. Because of the circumstances, they ant to help me get home soon. I will say the doctors here are helping how they can.

Well, today's post is short. Mainly because not much has gone on being here in the hospital and second, because I am getting tired, again. Hopefully I will have more to write the next time I do.

Day +2

Morning selfie with mommy

Today is called Day +2 after my transplant. Everything is looking good and going according to plan per the nurses (RN's) and nurse practitioners (NP's) we have seen the last few days. I am tired. Really tired. And, they say that it will only get worse by around Day +6 to +8. That's when my white blood cells (WBC's) will be at zero and I will have no immune system again. Scary to think, don't ya think?

I still wear my Fitbit. I may not get many steps in each day the last few days, but it's still tracking my sleep. My usual sleep/night is anywhere from 5-8 hours. Closer to 5 usually. The last few days I have been averaging anywhere from 10-12 hours of sleep. Actually, last night alone I had just over 11 hours. That's not including naps. Crazy to think, huh? It shows how hard my body is working right now. I do get in walks too. Actually, we are basically across the street from the Cancer Center, so Eric and I walk there and back for my appointments. I'm sure in a few days it'll be different. But, we are playing it all by ear.

Fun with Nanny & Grandpa Hoover

Something else one of the NP's told us today is that before my transplant, I was in remission, or complete response. The transplant was to help me stay that way longer. We knew that my numbers were really low, but to know that they were really almost undetectable and gone, was nice to hear. Had there been more of the "junk cells" (Myeloma cells) there, I would be on a few other medications right now also. But, because I was technically in remission, I don't have to be on them. I know some people will wonder why I still had the transplant if I was already in remission. The way it was explained to us a few months ago is that the best way to be in remission and stay in remission longer is to have the transplant. And, in order to have the transplant work, it is better to be in remission or close to it. Back when I started my chemo in November 2015, my numbers were at 5000. Within a month of chemo treatments that dropped to 500. And, over time, gradually went down. But the end of April, my numbers were at 0.67. As in LESS than 1. Which, that's almost undetectable. At that point, I was basically in remission, or complete response. So, all of this I am going through now, is still very good. It will help give me a much longer life than had we not found this cancer when we did and waited until I was in kidney failure or worse.

Teether Time 

I get my time in with Brandon too. Not as much as I'd like, but I do get to spend time with him. And, he definitely loves it. He gets so excited to see me. Its the little things like that that keep me going. I've said it before, and I'll say it again...he is my reason. He's the one who brought attention to my cancer, so I believe he deserves the world. Which, he definitely gets. Part of why I am so tired is probably from watching him crawl all over the place. And he's fast. One minute he's right there in front of you, you turn your head and look again and he's across the room. Not only crawling everywhere, but pulling himself up and walking along all the furniture. It won't be long before he's walking unassisted. I can see it. Yesterday he even stood on his own for probably 5 seconds. I was the only one who saw it and couldn't get a picture it was so fast. Eric and I keep saying, he's going to hit all the big milestones right now while here at Stanford. Maybe all. Like his first tooth. We feel like he's been teething since he was 4 months old and nothing is popping through yet. The last few days though, the only thing giving him any relief is chewing/sucking on his frozen teether. Luckily I thought to bring it.

Well, it's after 10pm now. I am exhausted and struggling to keep my eyes open. I wanted to give a little update and also thank everybody, again, for your calls, texts, e-mails, FB messages, IG messages, and help. We really do appreciate it all. It shows just how amazing our family and friends are. Thank you!

Wearing daddy's sweat band

My REbirth Day

Well, the day we have been waiting for came. Today was my REbirth day! Those healthy stem cells they took out of my body a few weeks ago were put back in me in. What was taken out in the matter of 4 hours, was put back in in the matter of 10 minutes! Ok, not ALL of them, but half of them were put back in. They save the other half in case I need another transplant in the future. For me, I know I have my fingers crossed they find a cure before that happens for me. But, until then, I will just keep fighting!

The awesome Kurdish lady who handled my stem cells from back when they were taken out

Today was an interesting day. Honestly, very emotional for me. Emotional because it gives me that much longer here with my family and friends. Especially my little man who really has no idea why we are not at home and living in an apartment for a few weeks. He's still the happy loving little man Eric and I are raising. He is definitely one of my main reasons for fighting so hard. He fought hard to make sure the doctors found this cancer, so I need to fight hard so he has his mommy for a very long time.

The frozen cells

When we got to the Stanford Cancer Center, we waited to be called back. We were finally called back and I was weighed, then taken to my room. It was actually the same room I had when I had the all day chemo the beginning of May. When all of this Stanford stuff really started. My vital signs were taken and then Tara, the dietician, came in to see how things were going. How I was feeling and I or we had any concerns. Of course, Eric was concerned because I haven't had much of an appetite the last few days. Tara reassured us that is normal, but to make sure we find things I can keep down because I will be needing my energy over the next few days to weeks. She also made sure to let us know that I shouldn't drink just water. Making sure we will be replenishing electrolytes as well. For nausea she said that the 7-up we have is great, but to also make sure to schedule eating. Even if it's just a piece of bread or something.

There they go! Flowing back into me!

Stem cells flowing back in

My nurse, Jessica, was awesome. As usual. I've had so many different nurses here at Stanford and they have all gone above and beyond for us. When Jessica came in, she brought in my pre-meds and some saline. Pre-meds were Benadryl and a steroid. The steroid made my legs feel like I had restless leg and the Benadryl made me exhausted! Boy was I tired. About 30 minutes or so later, another team came in with my stem cells. Just two women. They explained the process to both Eric and I. Eric took the pictures since I was going to be a little preoccupied. I'll be honest too, I don't remember much of the process of freezing my stem cells. Mainly because I was a little nervous. And there were so many people in the room. A Nurse Practitioner, my RN, the two woman team with my stem cells, another doctor, and another nurse. Not to mention Eric and myself too. Whew!

Nurses singing "Happy Birthday" to me

There were a lot of rechecks going on also. To make sure I got MY stem cells and not somebody else.  Before I got my stem cells though, they gave me IV Zofran. Once that had been going, and all the rechecks were done, it was time to connect me to my stem cells. During this time, we just sat there. For 10 minutes. Watching as my stem cells made their way back into my body. Once that was done, I just sat there and rest. My nurse monitored me to make sure everything was ok and I got a little extra potassium because my potassium was low. Eric went back to the apartment for a minute because we needed some lotion. The water here is really making our hands dry from all the hand washing.

About 15-20 minutes after Eric got back, my nurse checked on me to see if I was awake. I was, so she said she would be right back. This part really got me choked up, but I think I held it back well. My nurse and a bunch of the other nurses in the unit came in with a small cake and sang "Happy Birthday" to me. You always hear about this stuff, but when it's you, it's so much more. Of course, it's not my REAL birthday, but it is my REbirth day. A second chance so to say. Even though my MM was caught very early, before any symptoms, we know it could have been worse had it not been found so early.

With my AWESOMELY delicious cake

Something Eric just told me. I knew we had enough for 4 transplants. Well, today they gave me double the stem cells. They don't want them to go to waste, so I got more than a normal transplant. Like I said earlier, I got half of what was taken from me a few weeks ago. Now that's pretty cool.

Because I still need to make sure my mouth is cold, popsicles! Tara, the Dietician, recommended it!

Well, I am exhausted again. This will most likely be happening for the next few days. So, I am off to bed. I can not thank all of you enough for your continued support, prayers, happy thought, good juju, and everything else. We feel so lucky to have all of you in our lives.

Another Eric Interruption

Well, all the chemo treatments are done until the cancer comes back, which should be several years down the line. Now it's just maintenance, slowly reeling back over the next month until she's back to only taking multivitamins and a cup of coffee in the morning.  With the assistance of returning her stem cells, the Neupogen injections will help rebuild her blood generating bone marrow. So, we are pretty much done. After the transplant on Monday, her main focus is recovery. We will be monitoring her white blood cell count. When it reaches a certain level, we pack up and return home to our exciting lives.

Today, she is cold and tired. She's not sick, not hurting, not sad. She is just cold and tired. So, she is relaxing, barely asleep - barely awake. Chillin. Well, unchillin. We all know how fortunate she has been. Her treatments have all gone well. Compared with other cancer patients, she's had relatively minimal symptoms. We don't minimize the pain and discomfort that she has had. But, Krissy has made an effort to keep her condition in perspective. I believe this has helped us to remain so positive for the majority of this situation. Sometimes you have to throw on a smile to get happy. Krissy just is happy. Now it's time for a little rest.

Both California State Parks and Costco has bent over backwards to support and assist us. Obviously, there are legal requirements that our employers have to follow in situations like this. But, we can tell that both wanted to. We are extremely grateful to them and our immediate supervisors. It is easy to get into solution mode, tackling an illness, and forgetting to say thank you to all of those people that held you, carried you, forgave you, and in general made the situation at least slightly more manageable. Everyone, thank you so much for everything that you have done for us. You gave your time, financial assistance, advice, encouragement, distraction, motivation, and just basic humanity. The longer I am on this planet, the more convinced I am that life is about relationships. We have all heard of the five basic senses that make us alive, things we sense, we feel: sight, sound, touch, smell, taste. There is evidence of a sixth sense, intuition. I argue that the more evolved of our species has a seventh sense: conscience - the feeling of right and wrong. If you ask a little child at a park why he/she is feeding bread crumbs to the ducks, the child's answer might confuse you as much as the question confused them. The child will always have an answer for the benefit of the ducks. 

"The ducks are hungry. They need to eat."

As we mature, the answer evolves into what feeding the ducks might do for us. 

"It makes me happy to feed the ducks."

It simply is just the right thing to do - to feed the ducks. It doesn't benefit the feeder. We have seen this seventh sense in all of you since this process began back in August 2015. You have reached out and feed us with whatever bread crumbs you have had simply because it was the right thing to do, without obligation or reward in doing so. The greatest reward for us has been to be able to see such an outpouring of humanity. Our friends and some strangers exercising their seventh sense, their conscience, has been overwhelmingly rewarding to us. Thank you all for your kindness and generosity. 

We were fortunate that I was able to spend the night in Krissy's room on Thursday night. She was in a two person room. But, she didn't have a roommate. So, they said that I could stay until someone got admitted. They weren't expecting anyone. It turned out to be a great night. Krissy got her overnight chemo treatment. They let me watch it and participate in her care. On this night, I got a message from one of Krissy's old friends from SoCal who now lives in Switzerland (Melinda Moriancumer) asking for my perspective on things. So, I responded with "An Eric Interruption" on Krissy's blog. I told her that Krissy and I had the idea of printing her blog in the form of a book. And, I've been writing my perspective privately. We will publish both books as a companionship. The storyline will end this month when the treatments are done. Krissy wants to make a second book regarding her life in Response to Multiple Myeloma treatment. They call it Response and not Recovery because it will come back. MM is not curable at this point. It always comes back. Basically, her genome is coding to make these cancer cells. So, Krissy and I were one of the fortunate couples that were allowed to stay together for this particular treatment. What made this even more important for both of us was that it was going to be our first night away from Brandon - ever. It was better that she and I could be together during this difficult milestone. I woke up somewhere around 5:00am, responding to Melinda's post. I decided that before I could write, I needed coffee. When I walked the halls of the hospital, I found some that were not as fortunate as I:

Over the week or so that we have been at Stanford this time around, Brandon has been growing in so many ways. He flies around the ground now, crawling like a 'normal' little boy. The army crawl is a thing of the past. He used to just drag his legs behind him. His shoulders are incredibly strong. Who needs legs? A couple weeks ago, Brandon started assisted walking. He would hold our hands while taking a few careful steps forward. About a week ago, he started walking along the edge of the couch.   Now, he will move from one piece of furniture to another. He spent most of today playing with my parents. He became one of those kids that didn't want to bother to eat or nap because he didn't want to stop playing. Day by day, he is becoming so much more independent; therefore confident. Our number one goal for him is a healthy self-esteem. So, to see him like this is very satisfying to the soul. When the day wound down, he finally ate. And, when it came to going to sleep, despite how proud he is of his accomplishments, he still wanted to cuddle with his mommy; the one he cherishes the most.

Needless to say, this has been a lot to handle. But, thanks to you for all of your contributions, you have added joy to our souls. You've eased the burden and helped my sweet wife stay the silly, caring young woman that I married before we even knew what Multiple Myeloma was. This one's for you!