Thankful

Today is Thanksgiving. My second Thanksgiving with Multiple Myeloma. My first one being sick with a head cold. But I'm getting through it. It seems my cold gets worse at night and better for the day time. Lucky it's better for the day time. Then I can be apart of the rest of the party with everybody. This year we have my dad and his girlfriend Linda. Simple easy Thanksgiving at home.

It's Brandon's second Thanksgiving also, but his first where he's aware of what's going on. He sees us cooking a lot of food and wants to be apart of the action. So, Eric has him sitting in his high chair in the kitchen with him while he cuts the turkey. He's a happy camper sitting there with daddy.

Before the majority of the cooking was under way, my dad and Linda took Kahlua and Brandon for a walk over to the park and to play at the park. I would say they were gone for about an hour and a half. By the time they got back, Brandon was asleep in his truck. Passed out for who knows how long on the walk back and for probably 30 minutes after they got back. He definitely needed the nap before dinner.

Dinner was a success. It seems each year we make something a little different. This year we made, along with green bean casserole, peas artichoke hearts and mushrooms. We also made the sweet potatoes candies (which was an accident) and open faced. Eric always does something different with the turkey but it's always good. This year he made boobs out of lemon on it. Yes, boys will be boys. It was funny.

Now, we sit, in a food coma, waiting until we can all have some pie. I started to clean everything up but my back started to hurt pretty bad. But I think I got most of it done. At least all the food is put in smaller containers to be put in the refrigerator for left overs. I did some of the dishes and then it was medicine time. Eric was giving Brandon a bath during all of this because he needed to calm down and  have his sinus cleared up. His head cold is running it's course.

This year, I am thankful to be here. I am thankful for my oncologists (Kaiser and Stanford) and my nurses. They work so hard to help us cancer patients feel comfortable and help us all get the best treatment possible for our situations. Also, for the possibility of having my back cemented so I can have a "normal" life again. That will be another post next week after my consultation. Now, to enjoy our company and relax for the evening. Pie will be coming up real soon now.

A Full Week

Friday. The day most everybody looks forward to. Luckily for me, since I am not working in dispatch right now, I can now look forward to Fridays also. With it being Friday, it marks one full week of Brandon being in day care all day. From 9am until just after 4pm with the exception of today. Today he was there at 7:30am when she "opens" her home to day care. It's been a great week for him and he's developed so much in that time. He now waves "bye bye" with his arm out instead of the "Hitler" pose he did before. Arm out not waving it up and down or side to side at all. He eats on his own more and more solid foods. Today we were told he REALLY likes peanut butter sandwiches. Guess that means we need to get him his own bread and make him some sandwiches from time to time. He even had lumpia yesterday when I picked him up. He's making friends and Kourtney and Casey are amazing. I love their spirit and drive and ability to know what's going on with the kids and also talk to us parents if they need to at the same time. My kinda people.

With Brandon being in day care, it means he is actually napping there. Anywhere from 2-3 hour naps. I think it really depends on how he sleeps the night before to be honest. And this last week has been really rough. Rough because he's teething. He will fall asleep just fine around 8:30-9pm, but will wake up 4 hours later or so and the rest of the night he is tossing and turning and moaning and whining. We originally thought he was hungry, but then quickly realized it's because his mouth hurts. It really bothers him at night. Probably because he's not playing and being distracted and all I can imagine is that it starts cutting and throbbing. Poor guy. I wish I could take the pain away. This morning he was cranky before I took him over to Kourtney's and I could tell it was because he was tired. Hopefully this weekend and Monday can recharge him before his one day with Kourtney and Casey on Tuesday and then grandpa Kevin on Wednesday.

Because Brandon hasn't been sleeping well, I haven't bee sleeping well. At all. I am averaging about 5 hours of sleep at night because of his tossing and turning (he starts in his crib and ends up in our bed). He tosses and kicks and rolls all over me. Ok, mainly me. Sometimes Eric. But mostly me. I'm such a light sleeper that this keeps me up and I have to be up at 5:15am. With his shenanigans starting at 2am. So you can imagine how much sleep I'm really getting. Most of it starts when he first falls asleep and I am done doing my mom stuff before bed. Hence the hope he recharges and the tooth stops hurting him over this weekend.

Because I haven't been sleeping, my body isn't getting rest. When my body doesn't get rest, it starts to hurt. And so you guessed it! My whole body is a mess right now. Luckily I was able to get in a hot relaxing bath tonight before I got into bed and started to write. It really does help. It loosens me up. Especially with how cold it's getting at night this week. My medicine can only help so much, the bath and my doTerra Deep Blue rub help the rest of the way. The rub helps even though my pain is in my bones. It's crazy.

So, over this weekend we are supposed to have rain. That means we will be inside more and we will need to find things to do, which I have things to do, but Brandon makes them harder as he likes to pull things apart and make a mess while I am cleaning them up. But, we will get through it. He is the best thing to ever happen to me other than Eric. And he is growing. I am cherishing his little person time as much as I can. So, he can make a mess. I will clean it up when he naps.

Well, I am going to attempt to get some sleep now too. Brandon is already tossing around in his crib so I should attempt sleep before he wakes up.

Family Pictures

Last year my friend Brian Baer took pictures of us. Well, just Eric and me with Brandon still in my belly. That was my first experience at having family pictures taken by somebody other than myself with a wireless remote for the camera. Or a selfie. Of course, aside from the wedding pictures. For Brandon's first birthday I had my friend Robyn take pictures of him. Wearing his "1" onesie and then in nothing but a diaper with a smash cake. So much fun. I thought of us doing family pictures in the back of my head really since Eric isn't too keen on doing pictures. He does them to make me happy. When he saw the pictures of Brandon, he really liked them and asked if she does family pictures. He said we should do family pictures too. So, I got excited, made sure he was up for it, and got the time scheduled! I figured after I got paid so we had the money for it. I picked out the colors we would wear with some help from handy dandy Pinterest. I picked the colors we did because A) I LOVE blue. It's my favorite color. All shades really. B) I had two tops already with the burgundy color or blue and white in them, so I didn't have to shop too much. And C) the burgundy means so much more to me now since it is the color of Multiple Myeloma Awareness.

I asked for help from my friend Karen on which top I should wear. She picked the burgundy and white striped one but add a burgundy scarf. I could do that. I found one at Khols, then a better one at my favorite little boutique here in town, Bayabelle. Where I also found a blue sweater to wear with my outfit (which was approved by Karen). You see, I'm not great on if it's too much or too little. This ended up being just right! When we were at Khols, we also got Eric a nice blue long sleeve shirt and a nice pair of jeans (all of his jeans have grease spots from work) and Brandon a cute blue plaid onesie. He looks so good in plaid. I was pretty impressed with myself for being ready for pictures early.

The morning came and we headed off for our pictures at the same park/trail we did Brandon's 1 year pictures at. I loved all the oaks and the trail and grassy areas. Along with the bridge. You can't go wrong with a bridge. We got a lot of great pictures that day. And let me tell ya, she got a really good one of me with Brandon. See, as moms, most of us are behind the camera unless we do the selfie thing. But that's not professional (well, if you ware my friend Kristy, you could be a professional selfie taker...wow!) and not your full body or close to it really. Eric takes pictures sometimes, but let's face it, I'm the photographer in our little family. So, all of the pictures turned out amazing, but I absolutely love this one of me. It's ok to toot your own horn every now and then. Just not too much, then you're considered conceited. At least to me you are. Just my opinion. So, here are a few of the pictures from that day. Now, to decide which one or ones will be on our Christmas card. Hmmmm.....

 This is the picture I was talking about

Day Care

So, today was Brandon's first day at day care. Really, we honestly got very lucky being referred to her. I kind of mentioned it before. I must have, over the month of October, spoken to up to 50 different people. Through e-mail and phone. Nobody had openings nor did they offer to help. We we so frustrated. I was so frustrated. Both Eric and I said several times that we wished our friend Julie lived so much closer. If so, we wouldn't have to go through the trouble of finding somebody or a place. Then, the last person I spoke to, Lynne offered to help with referrals. Somebody was willing to help! I was in awe and just so very thankful. She even said she wished she could take him she just didn't have the room. She gave me two names. One lady was in Rocklin and the other, Kourtney, here in Lincoln. And, not just was she in Lincoln, she is basically right around the block! Say what?! Lynne gave Kourtney my information and I got a call from her on Thursday last week. Everything was great when we talked so we scheduled for us to come by and see the place and meet her.

Friday I was antsy all day. I just wanted it to be 5:30 already so we could go and meet Kourtney and see how this would fit. IF it would fit. I had my fingers crossed it would. We finally got out of the house and ran some errands. It helped with the antsyness. Finally, 5:30 came and we went over to her house to meet her and see the area she runs the day care out of. Basically, her whole house, but the front room is all decked out for the day care/preschool. Brandon got right to playing with her kids. Especially her 14 month old. Brandon had somebody his own age to play with. Eric asked questions he had and we explained our situation. Everything was great. We liked her, Brandon liked her kids and best of all, Brandon liked her. He went over to her a few times and gave her a hug. The whole time there I kept thinking that she looked familiar. I couldn't place it, but she looked familiar. Later that night at home I realized why. She bought Brandons old walker off us for camping for her son. Such a small world! She was meant to be in our lives.

All weekend we started to slowly get things ready for today, Monday. Last night we really got everything ready. Paperwork signed and his bag packed. Even put his initials on his clothes per her request. Just in case they get dirty and have to come off. Everything was set. We decided to have Brandon there at 9am (Eric usually doesn't work until 3 or so) so he could get the full experience and get tired also so he could sleep at nap time. Which worked! But I'll mention that later. Eric said Brandon did really well when he dropped him off. He walked right up to Kourtney and gave her a hug. Then off to play with the other kids. I picked Brandon up a little after 4:00. When I got there he was having a little snack wth her son and got a smile on his face when he saw me. He finished up and Kourtney's helper got him washed up. She handed him to me and then was trying to get him back to change his diaper for me and he wouldn't let go. He loves it there, but he definitely loves his mama. Kourtney said he was such a chill boy. She mentioned how her son would follow him around and give him hugs for a while. Looks like they may end up being best friends. He's so adorable too. She said that for nap time he slept from about 1:30 to 3:30. A 2 hour nap! All on his own! Woohoo!!!

We left and came home. As much as he loves it at day care, he loves home too. He went right for his truck. Even though he had one to play in while at Kourtney's. We had some cuddle time. Play time. He had dinner and around 6:15 or 6:30 he was getting whiny. His tired whiny. So, upstairs we came and got cleaned up and pajamas on. He watched a little cartoon then cuddled up in my lap and had his bottle and right to sleep he went before 7:30pm. I think day care is going to be good in more ways than one. He's snoring away in his crib while I type. I know parents always worry about their kids when they are with somebody new. I don't feel like I need to. I know he is safe with Kourtney and her helpers and the other kids. I know he's getting the rest, play and nutrition he should get. This is great for him all around. Day care is a tough thing for parents to find. I see why some start looking BEFORE they give birth. I was lucky enough to have a whole year off with him so we didn't have to worry about it right away. But, I should have started looking sooner. It was just tough not knowing when I was going back to work. But, all is well in the world now. We have a great day care we don't ever want to leave and it's only been one day.

Out before 7:30...this NEVER happens

One Month Ago, One Year Ago

It's been a whole month. One whole month. Since I started back to work. A lot has happened in that month. I've learned a lot. I took a test for a promotional position with the state. Since I passed that test I have applied like crazy for that position. I learned recently that my co-workers are working hard at trying to keep me permanently. Trying to get the approval to create a position for me. I am there temporarily as long as my doctor wants me there since I am not able to go back to my normal job as a dispatcher. It would be so great to be able to stay there. It's a perfect location compared to home and the people I work with are amazing. We work well together and even the people who work in other areas in that building are welcoming and nice and all. Usually within a month at a new place I can see issues with somebody or in supervision. Here, I don't see that. And, the job itself helps me learn new and different things. Making it easier to get jobs to promote into. One whole month and I still like going to work. Now, if only there was a day care there. I mean, they have a lactation room, why not a day care? But, we finally found an amazing day care for Brandon and it's only 5 minutes away from home. Whew!

Now, for the last year. As of today it's been a whole year since I started chemo treatments. So much has happened in that year. I went from spending every week almost 2 days a week at Kaiser to just this past July going every other week. I did six 28 day cycles starting today a year ago of chemo and zometa. After those six cycles were done I spent most of May and June at Stanford for the stem cell transplant process. May was getting ready for the transplant and June was the transplant. All of that put me into complete response.

One year ago

Going back to work last month has even helped me put into perspective exactly how much time I/we have spent at Kaiser or Stanford. I went from rarely going to the doctor, to going once a month for prenatal visits, to twice every week for cancer treatments and now to twice every other week for cancer treatments. I have always hated hospitals. It's where the sick people go. Now, I am that sick person. I hate that going in for treatments is like another job. I don't have two jobs (regular Monday thru Friday one and raising Brandon). I have three. Fighting cancer and being a cancer warrior is another job. It takes everything from you. All your energy. But the fight is worth it when I look at Brandon and Eric. I hate that I was dealt the cancer card in life, but I have so many people around me who make fighting it that much easier. All these friends and family around me make me want to fight to be here. I will stay in complete response for many many years to come. I may hurt, inside and out, but it won't stop me from fighting. Brandon fought to have my cancer detected early on, it's the least I can do to fight to be here for him.

Writing

It's getting harder and harder to write lately. Mainly because work and then mommy hood. By the time I can write, I am too tired and honestly, don't have anything to write about. My life now isn't that exciting to where I have stuff to tell. My labs are all looking great. My health is doing well, except for a little hiccup last week. I can't work in my dispatch center due to all the dust and dirt there. I figured a few minutes at the center to pick up my paycheck last week would be fine. I was there for about 15 minutes tops and on the way back to work I started to get a scratchy throat, coughing and stuffy nose. The next morning it was a little worse. I slept a lot of that day and then I was better. Not all the way better, but enough to be able to go back to work. It's crazy how fast it happened. It just shows where my immune system is and that I can't be around that stuff.

Work is going well. I took a test to get on the list for another position and I scored a 95%. Pretty darn good if you ask me. So, now I'm on the list for that job and I've been putting in applications for that position with different departments. Then, I find out yesterday that where I am working is trying to keep me. Which means they are going to work hard at trying to create a position they need so I can stay there. That's really the ideal place. Location, co-workers, etc. I love it all. So, now we wait and see.

Brandon is doing great. He's learning more and more every day. Although, his sleep schedule could use a little work, he plays all day and tells us when he's hungry or tired by different cries or whines. He's starting to understand us more too. When we say "Are you hungry?" he will stop whining and wait. We put him in his high chair and he waits for us to get the food. If he's really hungry he will continue to whine, but we try to catch it fast. If it's bottle time, which now is before bed, then we show it to him and he will pull out his pacifier and open his mouth. He can hold his own bottle, but is usually lazy about it and wants us to hold it. We gotta work on that with him because we will not always be there when he gets a bottle and he needs to do it himself. He LOVES his truck. We got him a Little Tikes Cozy Truck. One of those car/truck things that we can push him around in or take the floorboard out and he can use his feet to push himself around in it. When Eric is home at night we go on family walks where we push him around the neighborhood in it and he just smiles and giggles. We leave it in the living room and throughout the day he will get in it and just sit in it to watch tv or just play. It's a crack up to watch.

Eric is doing good. It'c coming up on their busy season at work. So we can expect him to have more hours. He's been collecting sports cards (baseball, football, basketball, hockey, etc) to eventually give to Brandon. He will look at a card then look it up and see how much it is worth and then also some facts about that player. He is a wealth of knowledge. I love he is a sponge and can learn anything fast and remember it. It will be great for Brandon when he is older.

I have started to write my children book I want to write. I do want to find somebody who is good at art and can draw to help out and have half credit in the book. It is not easy to get what I want for that book down on paper. I have so many ideas. The way I want to book to go and the age group I want the book for. I want a boy version and a girl version. But the whole premise of the book is the same. All I can say is, it's tough. Especially while working full time and then my other full time career of being a mom. Brandon loves the computer and is always wanting to type while I am. So that makes getting the book underway harder. But I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world.

For now, I work, enjoy time with Eric and Brandon and write when I can. If something happens, I will let you know. For now, the saying "No news is good news" is implied here.