Pictures

Pictures. Everybody takes them. Everybody has them. For me, they are a little more special. I remember my dad always taking pictures of everything and anything. Places, scenery, us kids, family outings, sports we were in, everything. I also remember my grandpa, dads father, taking a lot of pictures. He always had his camera with him. I think that is where I got it from.

I too take pictures of anything and everything. I took photography in high school. That is where I fell in love with black and white photography. And, especially scenery in black and white. Not sunset or sunrise, because beautiful colors need to be in color, but mountains, meadows, fields, trees, etc, in black and white brings so much depth, emotion and dimension into the picture.

the last 18 months I have had 1 consistent subject I have been taking pictures of. My son Brandon. I love capturing everything he does. All his silly expressions. His whole world and how he looks at it. He is my pride and joy. The older I got, the more I thought I would never have a child of my own. But I did. He is my Rainbow baby as we lost two pregnancies before him. He saved me. I've wrote about it before. If it weren't for him, we would never had found my cancer as early as we did. Most people who find out about their Multiple Myeloma cancer find out because they break a bone. A hip, their back, something big. Then, and only then, is it found. For me, because I was pregnant and they check my urine so much, they noticed something off as the protein levels were high for so long and my blood pressure was low. Consistently low. So, I didn't have preeclampsia. More tests ended up revealing Multiple Myeloma.

Before my diagnosis at 28 weeks pregnant August 19, 2015, I knew I would take a lot of pictures of Brandon. But after that day, I knew I needed to take even more. And keep even more pictures. Not just for me, but for Brandon. Eric isn't much of a picture taker. I do that. That's why any picture of me with Brandon ends up being a selfie. I take so many pictures because I want Brandon to see his childhood. To see himself and mommy and daddy when he was little. Because there may be one day that I am not able to take so many pictures. I already missed a week. Yes, my mother and father in law took some pictures and my dad took some pictures, but when I was hospitalized after my stem cell transplant, I couldn't take any pictures and capture his world. I couldn't see what he was doing. What his reaction to his new adventures were. I want him to see that.

I have been told that I take too many pictures by a few people. Also, that I post too many pictures on social media. I might do that, but it's because I want to bring as much joy I get from watching Brandon grow to my friends and family also. And I have been told some, or most, people love seeing the pictures. But there are a few who think it's too much. They don't want to see them. And why, I have no clue. But, I am so proud of who he is becoming that I want to share it with family and friends. Do I care that there are people who think I take too many pictures of him? Nope, not at all. They have the right to their opinion, just like I have the right to take the pictures and post them.

You better believe that once he is old enough to understand, I will get him a small camera to use. To take his own pictures. I will teach him to take pictures of everything and anything like mommy does and grandpa and his great grandpa did. It is something I want to pass on to him when I go. I'm not leaving anytime soon. I am here fighting this cancer and kicking it's butt. But the thing about Multiple Myeloma is, it's sneaky. It will appear again. It may come back more fierce than it originally was. I will probably have to change my chemo regime when it does decide to rear it's ugly head again. And maybe I won't be able to fight it as well as I am now. But I don't think about that. I only think about fighting and kicking MM to the curb. Fighting for Eric. Fighting for Brandon. Fighting for all my friends and family who stick by my side through all of this.

So, yes, I take a lot of pictures. Especially of Brandon. I want him to see his childhood. I want him to see what I saw. And I will continue to take pictures of him and post them on social media. You can have your opinion. It is ok. And I can have mine. So, enjoy the pictures or not. No sweat off my back.