This time last year. August 19, 2015, Eric and I were in a somber and brain fog state. All we wanted to do was watch something mind numbing and not talk to anybody but each other. Enjoy each other's company, feeling Brandon moving and kicking in my belly and take our fur baby's for a walk. That morning our world was flipped upside down.
It really all started the Sunday before. On August 16th while I was finishing up my overtime shift at work when I got a call from the Nephrologist about the last blood work to come back. She told me that my bone marrow was producing abnormal protein and that she referred my name over to Hematology to talk to them. That I could get a call in the next few days for an appointment. After that call, I googled "bone marrow producing abnormal protein". The first three to pop up are "Myeloma, Bone Marrow Cancer Prognosis and Treatment", "Myeloma Symptoms, Treatment & Causes" and "Multiple Myeloma - Myeloma - Myeloma Cancer - Plasma Cell Myeloma". I then had to Google Myeloma and Multiple Myeloma to see what it was exactly. It came up "A cancer of plasma cells". I sent Eric a text to call me as soon as he could. And of course, I started to freak out and the only person I showed anything about it that I was working with at the time was Margie. She helped me, for the time being, to calm down. Telling me I didn't know for a fact and wait until I met with the Hematologist. She helped keep me calm for the next 30 minutes until I was done with my shift. Then came the drive home. And the freak out started again. Eric and I got home and talked about it and he was a voice of reasoning. Calming me down some and enough to be able to sleep.
The next morning I received a call from Kellie, Dr. H's nurse, to set up my appointment. Which, to be honest, was really quick. Which made me happy. But, I still had to wait until Wednesday morning and this was Monday morning. I couldn't think of any questions to ask Kellie at the time, but she gave me her number to call if we did at all before the appointment came. Which, on Tuesday, after talking to Eric, I called to see if Eric should come and also what the appointment would entail since I was supposed to work that day also. Kellie said they encourage loved ones to come to the appointment and that I would most likely have a bone marrow biopsy (BMB) done. Eric set up to let work know he may be a little late coming in due to my appointment and we waited. Waited for Wednesday, August 19th at 10:45am to come and meet with the Oncologist.
Wednesday morning came. I could barely sleep the night before. But I got some. Enough to get me through the day. On the way to the appointment, Eric and I talked and we both agreed that I should call and let work know that I might be late, if not at all for the day. Depended on how the appointment went. Of course, I freaked my supervisor Cindy out a little but she said she would wait for my call or text. Eric and I got in, checked in and waited for Kellie. Who, we loved the moment we met her. She treated us like family. Like she had known us for years. She took care of us and made us feel at ease. She talked to us a little about the appointment and then left to go get Dr. H. Sitting and waiting. Who likes that, right? That was the most nerve racking 10ish minutes of my life. Eric was making small talk to try to help get my mind off of what this appointment may be. Dr. H came in, shook Eric's hand and gave me a hug. Asked us how we were and then didn't waste any time. It was what I Googled. We heard the words, "It's malignant. You have Multiple Myeloma." We then asked questions, what the treatment would be and that we may have to look at getting ready to have Brandon at 30-32 weeks along. I was only 28 weeks along at the time. I was then advised that I was going to have a new OB. One that specializes in high risk pregnancies. Dr. H let us know he had been talking to both my OB-GYN Dr. K and my new one Dr. M-H. They were working together on my diagnosis and what to do about the pregnancy. After Dr. H came in to talk to us and before my BMB, our Social Worker Lori came in to talk to us about different leaves from work and what we could do. At that point I was looking at just going in to work in a few days from that time, but that changed when my emotions made it where I couldn't concentrate.
Dr. H and Kellie come back in and I have my BMB after Lori is finished. I'll be honest here. I as more scared that it would hurt than I needed to be. Don't get me wrong, it hurt, but not as much as I thought it would. About 15 minutes later, the BMB was over. Kellie helped by holding my hand and Eric was holding my other hand at my head. Kellie kept making small talk by talking about Brandon. She knew exactly what to do to keep my mind off any pain or even the procedure. After the BMB, we left to do labs and get prescriptions and eat. All still in a fog. As I said, the whole day we were in a fog. Through all of this I call and talk to my dad and step-mom and let them know what's going on. I could barely get it out with my dad. I was crying the whole time. How do you tell your parents you have an incurable cancer? Never thought that would happen. After a few errands, Eric dropped me off at home to rest while he went back to get one of my prescriptions and a few things at the store. My supervisor Cindy called to find out what was going on. I let her know, and from what I hear (because I know she won't tell me she did it), she locked herself in her office until she left that night because she was so sad.
The rest of the day Eric and I watched mind numbing movies and had ice cream and other junk food. Week by week went by and we were able to keep Brandon baking in my tunny until 35 weeks. Five weeks longer than originally thought. No NICU time needed. Perfectly perfect little boy and healthy as can be. The next ten months have been amazing and crazy hectic all at the same time. A month after Brandon was born, I started my chemo treatments. As you previously read, they went well. Come June 6, 2016, I had my Stem Cell Transplant (SCT) to basically reset me. And, by reset, I mean reset. Here's something personal, the SCT put me in early menopause. Yep, I'm 38 years old and in menopause. Which sucks, but it's all part of the process. The other thing is, next year I will have to get all the vaccines Brandon has gotten, again. Yep, I will have to get all my vaccines. The SCT wiped me clean. From my cancer (for now) and from all vaccines I have had over my life and of course put me into menopause. Fun stuff!
I did lose all my hair as I have written and posted pictures of. Now, it's growing back. I am giving it some help by taking the itWorks! Hair, Skin, Nails pills. I'll tell ya, it definitely works! My hair is about like it was when we shaved it before I lost it. Now to start planning my hair styles my friend Colleen and I will do on me. This gives me a chance to do something different. Just like I did before I lost my hair. I'll tell ya, I LOVED that style. I am seriously going to do that again when my hair is long enough to do so again. Now, to look for different styles to do before it gets long enough to get back to that style.
As of how I am feeling. I am feeling great. Some days better than others. But I am still feeling great. I am on day +74 after my transplant. Day +100 is less than a month away and I am excited! Haven't decided if I want to do anything to commemorate that day or not. I am planning on going back to work but I am not supposed to be around dust/dirt, so I am waiting on a workplace reassignment. It could take a while. Even months. Hoping not months though. I am going to keep applying for other jobs and hopefully something comes up. As of today, I have been off work for a year. I love being home with Brandon, but I know going back to work would be good. Not just for me, but for Brandon too. He would get good exposure to other kids. In the meantime, I am enjoying my time with Brandon. I really do. I love seeing his adorable smile. Watching him grow and develop. He's a very smart little boy for just 10 months old. I can't wait to see what else he will learn and do before I go back to work.
As of now, I am still in recovery phase. My maintenance chemo is going really well and everything else at home is also. I can honestly say, I have kicked cancers butt and will continue to do so for the rest of my life. I've found who my true friends are and who will forever be there for me. I have also got some new friends who have come from nowhere. Through the Multiple Myeloma groups I am in on Facebook and through Eric's work. People I have never met have friended me. Have prayed for me, sent good thoughts for me, have been there to be a listening ear if needed. They have all been there for me in one way or another and for that I am forever grateful and happy to have their friendship. Will I meet any of them someday? I sure hope so. The ones who live further away will be harder, like Maggie who is also fighting MM, but I hope to one day meet her. I hope to meet all of them.
To all of you who read this blog and have been there for us this last year, THANK YOU! Thank you for showing us who our real friends are. For being there in some way for us. For helping us with Brandon, food, etc. We will always remember it. Thank you!
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