Passed Out

Today was scary. Really scary. Not just for me, but especially for Eric. He was about to get ready for work and we decided to do my daily Neupogen shot (fertilizer for my stem cells) and Heparin flush of my catheter line. I stood in front of him, pants down a little and shirt pulled up some to expose my belly. We do the Neupogen shot in my belly. Basically, where there is the most fatty tissue. We could do it in the back of my arm, my thigh/butt cheek or tummy area. We chose the tummy. It's easiest. There are two profiled needles with the amount I need divided. One has 480 mcg and the other has 300 mcg. It doesn't matter the order we do them in. As long as the "fertilizer" gets in my system to help my stem cells grow and develop faster. Eric took an alcohol pad and cleaned an area on one side of my navel for one shot then gave me the shot. Then, took the other alcohol pad and cleaned another area on the other side of my navel and gave me the other shot. During that, I don't watch. I never watch a needle going into me. I can watch afterwards when they are taking blood for labs or I have an IV, but never watch a shot.

The next thing we do is the Heparin flush of my catheter line. The Heparin is an anticoagulant (blood thinner) that prevents the formation of blood clots. This line is going into the superior vena cava. It makes it easier for blood draws, administering me chemotherapy, taking out my stem cells, and giving me my stem cells back in. Eric was getting everything ready and as usual, I was helping him. Making sure he cleaned the valve and then opened the line. He had one tube of Heparin attached ready to go when I passed out.

You see, I was kneeling down next to him when he was going to do this procedure. I had one hand on the coffee table and the other was free to assist him as needed. As I was kneeling there, I started to feel a little nauseous. So, I just started to breath. Then, a wave of what felt like I was sweating profusely came over me, but I wasn't sweating. Next, everything slowly got muffled. All sound. The tv. Eric talking. Brandon babbling in his bassinet. Azul's claws clacking on the laminate flooring. Everything was muffled. Next thing I remember is me, laying on the floor. Erics arm behind my head. Eric kneeling down looking over me asking if I was ok. Asking if I could hear him. Asking me if I knew what happened. It took me a minute to realize what had happened, and then I started to get tears in my eyes and was scared. I knew I wasn't out very long. But scared that it even happened. As I lay there, trying to figure out what happened to make me pass out, Eric told me he was calling in and I slowly started to sit up to get up and sit in a chair and get some water.

The daily process

Eric then, holding Brandon because at this time Brandon was crying and fussing wanting attention, started to call neighbors to come over and help him with Brandon. First, our neighbor Kathy who helps us with the dogs. But she wasn't at home. Next, Cindy next door, but she didn't answer and he left a message. Then, Rebecca, a few doors down. Again, another message left. As I sat there, I heard the door next door close and then a knock on our door. It was Cindy. Then, a few minutes later, another knock on the door and it was Rebecca's husband Brad with their son Wesley. As I sat there, I was really embarrassed. I hate being in a vulnerable position. It's actually made me very insecure the rest of the day. While sitting there, Kellie from oncology called for Eric. She was calling because she had a doctors note for him for work and wanted to let him know. He told her what happened and they talked about it and she told him to bring me in so she could see me. By the way, this whole time I am told I was pale. But there was color in my lips.

Once everything was situated, Eric finished the Heparin flush and while Cindy stayed to help watch Brandon, who had fallen asleep on her at this point, and to watch me while he showered and got ready to go. The thing Eric realized too, after the fact, was that he should have called 9-1-1. He, like I probably would have, spaced on that. All he could think about was making sure I was ok and woke up and getting help. We got to Kaiser a little later and Kellie also said the same thing. So had my friend Vanessa on Eric's status update on Facebook. We both realize we needed to do that. Next time, and hopefully there isn't a next time, we will.

After Kaiser we ran a few errands and then got home. I have felt off the rest of the day. Tired. I was feeling weak last night. But figured it was just from the Neupogen shots. I even told our medical social worker that this morning when she checked in on us and she said that was normal. Now, we are all in bed. Brandon passed out and myself writing while Eric cuts his hair. I am about to go to sleep I am exhausted.

So, it was a scary day, but we learned something from it. I am still here. And ready for all of this process to be done and my transplant over. But, just a few more weeks. For now, I am off to bed. Good night!

Home For the Week

I'll tell you, it was really good to get home on Friday night. All three of us needed it. For one, just to get to what we know and two, we needed to get out of the car and off the road. That was a long drive home. It was Friday and it was a bit rainy. Plus, Bay Area traffic is horrible. I hate to say it, but it is. I would rather drive in Los Angeles traffic. But, we made it home. The next time we hope we can leave at a different time of day (earlier) and NOT on a Friday.

Since being home, I have really seen the limitations I have. The biggest thing has been helping out around the house. Especially with taking care of Brandon or the dogs. I can feed Brandon, but somebody has had to hand him to me. The reason for this is because I need my Hickman line to heal. It's still really tender and sensitive. The other thing is, I can't change his diapers. Thats a big thing. Plus, I can't sleep in the same bed as Brandon. That makes me sad because I have gotten so used to it. So, I have been sleeping in another room and I'm not getting that great of sleep. I don't have Eric or Brandon. It makes me sad.

Another thing I can't really do is go outside. Well, I can, but I have to wear that awesome special hepa mask I have anytime I go outside. People need sunlight. And, with yesterday and Saturday being rainy days, there wasn't much of it. It's crazy how fast the feel of depression can come on too when you can't get outside like normal. And, being inside, not doing much, makes me lazy and sleepy.

Yesterday, Eric and I did go to Kaiser to pick up a prescription of mine. I had to go in to Urgent Care to get the paper version because it's a controlled substance. It's my pain medicine for my back. While I was checking in, an elderly man came out pushing his, what I assume to be, his wife in a wheelchair. He stops, looks at me and says "Wow, it must be an early Halloween or something." He probably meant for it to be funny, but personally, when you see somebody at a hospital wearing something different, you really shouldn't say anything. It's rude. When I heard him say it I just turned and gave him a look and turned back. Had I said anything to him, I'm sure he wouldn't be able to hear me. I mean, my self esteem is already down having to wear it when outside, and to have somebody say something hurts that much more. I could be a little more sensitive right now, but that's beside the point.

The other thing I have found that's happening the last few days is I feel really weak. Physically weak. I get out of breath faster going up the stairs. My body doesn't want to hold on to things very long. And I feel like I can't get out of bed as fast as usual. I've been told it is normal. But I don't like this normal. It makes me feel helpless.

I appreciate everything that Eric and some friends have done for me also. Eric and I never thought that all of this would be this emotionally and physically overwhelming. Especially for him. He likes to have his alone time every now and then. Everybody does really. But, he has to be a caregiver for 2 people and 2 dogs right now. On top of working. It's wearing him out. I'm trying not to have him do too much for me. It's getting better though too. At least after today, I can help with at least picking Brandon up. I still won't be able to change his diapers until after they take my stem cells out next week. That's when all precautions stop until I have my transplant in June.

After all of this is done, I want to do something special for Eric. He really deserves it. He is an amazing father and husband. He really takes care of us. He deserves a little of time to himself. Sleeping in, relaxing, whatever he wants. I know he mentioned that he wanted to do more for me yesterday for Mother's Day. I told him that all of this is in the middle of my cancer treatment and when it's all over, we should do a day of Mother's & Father's Day together. A mini one day vacation. Because honestly, none of this has been a vacation. Far from it. And I don't remember the last time we had a real vacation. Probably our pre wedding familymoon to Disneyland. We need a vacation.

Well, it's after 11am. I should get moving again and get Eric up. I am sure he was up a lot of the night with Brandon. We tried to get him on a schedule last night, but other things on in the way. Thank you for reading and letting me vent at times.

Mother's Day

Today is Mother's Day. A day I have longed for for so long. I have been a fur mom for quite a while. Actually, since 2004 to my cat Elvis. He, unfortunately got really sick and went on to kitty heaven. He was a great cat! I was never a cat person until him. See, my ex Jay & I had some friends who adopted a stray cat. They soon found out she was pregnant. She had 4 kittens. Two boys and 2 girls. They were, oddly enough as I am remembering, born on Mother's Day. May 9, 2004. I got to meet these little funny looking creatures when they were just hours old. After a day, I decided I wanted Elvis. The reason I named him Elvis was because he was black and white with a white sneer look on his face. Like Elvis had. Well, the sneer like Elvis. The thing about my Elvis is, he acted like a dog. I think that's what made me so attached to him. He would sit for treats and lay down for me. He was a great cat! He even tolerated it when I got Kahlua in 2007.

Mr. Elvis

March 20, 2007 I became a fur mommy again. This time to my puppy Kahlua. She was a great addition. Although, I did let her walk all over me. Training her was hard. She was stubborn from day one. She was the epitome of going and looking for a dog who was one way, getting them home, and their true colors come out. She was the most calm puppy out of the litter that was left. She was calm the whole drive home. The first day or two she was calm and then she became this crazy hyper puppy. Obviously she felt at home. She tormented her "big brother" Elvis. Which, he just tolerated it. She taught herself how to throw balls with her mouth and run after them. Which made it annoying for my downstairs neighbor. Eventually we moved into the home we are in now. The condo. She took to the stairs fast. And, of course, my bed. She was sad when Elvis didn't come home from the vet. She moped around the house for a few days. she really didn't eat and only cuddled. She didn't know what happened. All she knew was, her big brother wasn't home.

Silly Kahlua

Elvis & Kahlua

Fast forward to July 2014 and Kahlua was now the "big sister". Eric & I welcomed our big boy Azul, or Blue, to the family. A Great Dane/Pit Bull mix. He was just as big as Kahlua is now as a puppy. Kahlua looked concerned at first. She wasn't so sure about him. But, like Elvis did for her, warmed up to him and tolerates him. It's a play mate. Azul went through puppy classes and passed with flying colors. His graduation picture was the cutest. He looks like he's smiling it in. It was one of the best pictures I've seen of a dog. Azul has a huge personality, but a short attention span. We can tell him something and he will listen, but a minute later (no, really, a minute later) he will have totally forgotten what we said and will go right back to doing what we said not to. The thing about Azul though is, he is very loving when he wants to be. Which really is all the time. But, the all the time is in a selfish way also. Thing is, I still love him.

Puppy Azul

Before I became another humans mommy on October 6, 2015, I was almost another humans mommy twice. The first time we found out was the middle of May 2014. We had been trying since February & it seemed like finally it was going to be. Then, on June 4, I started to have some spotting while getting ready for an overtime shift. Before I left for work, I was cramping a little. Then, on the way to work, my lower back was starting to bother me. It got to the point where I could ignore it and make a left and go to work or make the right and head to the ER. It was getting so bad, that I made the right. Sure enough, I had a miscarriage. I was devastated. I felt so lucky though to have my friend Summer who just happened to text me as I was getting there come and sit with me until Eric got there. She was truly a lifesaver. The second time I was going to be a humans mommy we found out on September 11, 2014. This one lasted a lot longer. Our first appointment we heard the heartbeat...and saw two sacs. Although, we could only see one fetus at the time. The next appointment there was only one sac and still a very strong heartbeat. We got to 10 weeks along and figured we were good to go ,so we announced our little bundle. At our 12 week appointment, there was unfortunately no heartbeat. We were very devastated with this one as well. Those 12 weeks, I felt like it was a girl. So, when I ended up having to give birth, so to say, in the ER 4 days later because I was going into labor, we named her Aspen Emilijia. Aspen after my favorite tree and Emilijia is the Lithuanian spelling of Emilia. We knew we wanted our heritage in the name somewhere. To this day I still feel like I feel her around me. Especially now. And especially since we now have 2 Aspen trees on our front porch. One took off fast, the other took a while, but we came home from Stanford the other day to some leaves on it now. That made me extremely happy.

 The 1st Aspen tree

The 2nd Aspen tree

I decided, after that miscarriage, that we'd only try one more time. I couldn't do another miscarriage but still wanted to see if we could have one baby. February 24, 2015, I peed on a few (ok, A LOT) of sticks and found out we were pregnant again. This time, we didn't tell anybody. Well, except for a few close friends and my dad. We didn't say anything officially until May 10, 2015. We were well into the 2nd trimester. Everything was going well. I had morning sickness, but nothing I couldn't handle. I still worked out and kept moving. I was feeling great! Then, the cancer diagnosis came. With it, I had fears that I would end up leaving my son without a mother. I cried myself to sleep and cried myself awake for a few weeks thinking of that. Here, I was finally going to be a mommy to a human baby, and I have a cancer that is not curable right now. And, since I was pregnant, there were tests I couldn't do yet. So, we had no idea of what stage I was or anything.

October 6, 2015

October 6, 2015 would have to be the 2nd best day of my life. The day I became mommy to our amazing little boy. The little boy who really saved his mommy. Brandon has been the biggest joy in our lives. His furry brother and sister love him and he really is an easy baby...with the except of sleeping at night. He is now at the point where he will kick or push up against us. To the point we are clinging to the side of the bed to stay on. I know we should put him in his crib or bring the bassinet up stairs, but there is something comforting having him in bed with us. But, like I said, we really should stop this sleeping in our bed thing. We need our sleep too! In order to take care of him.

Family

So, on this day. My first Mother's Day to my own human baby. I thank him. I thank my little man for choosing me. For choosing to be our Rainbow baby. For making me the happiest mommy I could be. For putting a smile on my face everyday. No matter how many times he cries, or how upset he can be. No matter how tired he has made me or will make me. No matter how much he scares me with his crawling, standing and trying to walk around now and how he may scare me or make me worry in the future. I will always be so grateful, honored and happy that he chose me. He chose to stick. He chose to save his mommy. For that, I will be forever grateful.

7 Months Old

Happy Mother's Day!

Full Day At the Treatment Center

Morning snuggles

The alarm was set for 5:30am this morning. Both Eric and I were up at 5am automatically because we had to use the restroom. For me, it was because of the saline fluids being pumped through me constantly since about 4pm yesterday. Then, we couldn't fall back to sleep. Mainly because we knew that the alarm was going to be going off within about 20 or 30 minutes, so we slowly got up to start getting ready. I didn't want to get up. Not that I didn't want to get ready to go or anything, I just know I need more sleep. At least when we do sleep while here, the beds are REALLY comfortable. I sleep so good when I am sleeping here. I do believe that we will be needing to get a new mattress very soon.

Me, waiting to meet my nurse and get started

We finally got up and Eric got the coffee going while I got myself prepared to get in the shower. By prepared, I mean taking a baggie and putting my Hickman line in it, sealing it shut, folding it up, and taping it to me. It's a process for the next 2 months. But honestly, I'll do it if it means I will be getting better. I was finally ready to get in the shower. That was tough because I was still hooked up to my BIG bag of hydration. So I could only reach so far with that attached to me. To give you an idea of just how big the bag is, a normal bag is 1 liter. Like I am hooked up to now sitting in the hospital bed for my treatment. This bag that I wheel everywhere with me is just over 4 liters. That's why I emphasized big. Ok, back on track now. Squirrel! One of the things I'm not supposed to do right now since getting my Hickman line yesterday is have my head lower than my heart. The reason being, if that happens, I can get dizzy and possibly faint. So, Eric had to help me dry off. I finally got dressed, did my hair and make-up and was ready to go. At this point, we still had about 45 minutes before we had to leave. I had my coffee, had an English muffin and took my pills. 

Here we are, before anything got hooked up

While Eric was showering I got to hold my sleeping baby boy. Something we saw this morning (well, we knew it before, but kind of cool to see when you are limited on things) was that Brandon was squirmy with Eric. He was kind of asleep, kind of awake and really fidgety. This was before I got in the shower. So, Eric took Brandon and laid him down next to me and he instantly stopped squirming and being fidgety. I'll be honest. It's the boobs. He loves the boobs. It's one of his comforts. I gave him about 20 minutes of mommy cuddles before I really had to get in the shower. After this morning, part of my precautions is that I will not be able to sleep with him in the same bed. So sad, but I need my health to be able to be here for him in the long run. 

Loving these yellow hospital socks

Once Eric and I were both ready, we got Brandon (he was still sleeping) with grandma and grandpa and we were about to walk out the door when Eric dropped on accident his breakfast. I felt so bad. He told me to go ahead and go and he will meet me here or catch up with me. I ended up getting faster than he could catch up to me. I'm a fast walker. I learned that from my step-mom when we wherein a mission in the mall. Back then, I remember thinking "you're walking too fast". Now, I realize, it was just her way of getting herself and 4 kids through the crowds and to where she wanted to go. Very efficient if you ask me. So, he caught up to me when I was checking in for my treatment. 

WHAT? That's 7 bags of different things

We were called back and the nurse assistant Kenny did my weight, then took us to our room where he continued the vital signs. blood pressure and temperature. One thing I do have to say, here at Stanford, they do everything in kilograms and celsius. I've never seen that in a hospital. It's kinda cool, but for me I have to really think about it. Of course, I usually look it up later. Then we met my nurse for the day. Shawnee is awesome. Really, all of our nurses have been amazing. She went over what we would be doing today and gave me the menu for my meals. They were going to get my breakfast so I was ready to look for what I wanted. She got me unhooked from my hydration on wheels and hooked up to the saline bags here, along with Zofran to help me not get sick, lasicks (so I can pee), and then my Cytoxan chemo. The chemo part was only 2 hours. The rest is just hydration. The reason for hydration I mentioned in my previous post, but basically Cytoxan, if you are not hydrated can cause an infection in your bladder and cause the bladder lining to bleed. They found if they hydrate you well before, during and after, it won't cause that. So, that is the need for the hydration on wheels until tomorrow and the long day here today. 

Starting to blog & I NEED my Posh hand creme

Basically, all I have done here is write some, talk to people checking in on me through text or Facebook, talk to Eric, and pee. We did get up and walk the hall a little after lunch. I needed to stretch my legs. It's weird doing that and having a tower with saline bags attached to it tagging along. Kind of cramps the "date". But, Eric didn't mind. I miss Brandon. I think today is the longest I have been away from him yet. But, I know he is doing well and in good hands with Erics parents. 

The menu for breakfast, lunch and dinner

Now we are back at the apartment. Since the last paragraph we ordered dinner (both of us had a spring salad with chicken and ranch), Shawnee watched and helped Eric change my dressing and clean around the area of my Hickman line, I was hooked up to a new BIG bag of hydration to take with me, we had our dinners, and I got my hepa mask I will need to wear when outside of the home or car. Going anywhere, I have to wear it until after my stem cells are taken out of me. Then I am free to roam about the country (ok, Stanford area and home) without it until we return back and I get my next chemo on June 2nd.

Down to just 2 bags of saline from the 7 different ones I started with

I thought the mask was going to be uncomfortable, but it's not. Its actually pretty comfortable. I'm already used to it and only wore it for the 4 minute walk back to the apartment from the Cancer Center. We are now relaxing here at the apartment. Thinking of maybe going to the arboretum area here. It's an outdoor area thats full of trees. We've driven through it on the way here, but haven't stopped and walked around. So if it doesn't rain, which it looks like it's going to, we will head over there after everybody has eaten and Brandon wakes up. It shows just how much exercise he's getting with grandma and grandpa. He's taken more naps than he does at home and sleeps longer too. Then again, I also believe he's growing, he's definitely teething and he's using his brain a lot more. That can tire anybody out. 

The way Eric was able to take a nap

I know I keep saying it, but THANK YOU everybody who reads my posts, has helped us and checked in on us. They are much appreciated. We are trying to respond to everybody but sometimes it gets away from us. The main portion of this process is in motion and started. 

Central Venus Catheter (Hickman line) Placement & Hook Up

This morning we were up at 4am for my 6:30am appointment. We are staying only about a 4 minute walk away, but we needed time to wake up, shower and get moving. I had to do a surgical cleans while showering this morning before we left. Just to clean the neck and torso area more than a usual shower can do. I will say, usually a shower is enough to wake me up. I will have coffee mainly for the taste and a little extra pick me up. This morning, it was really tough to wake up. Even after my shower. I am sure I could have gone back to sleep after  my shower since I couldn't have any coffee this morning. Just sips of water to take my pills. No food either, and while sitting in pre-op I was getting hungry.

Snuggling the little man

While Eric got ready, I snuggled with Brandon one last time before getting this hook up since for a few days it's going to be tender and he's going to want to grab it. Which isn't good. So, I had the snuggle time with him while he was still sleeping. Once Eric and I were ready to go, I called for the shuttle service to come get us and take us over to the Cancer Center for my appointment. We waited for 20 minutes and nobody showed up, so, we walked over there. That was how we found out it is only a 4 minute walk. And, it's a nice walk too. This morning was chilly, but not too much. It was nice to have that walk too. A little bit of exercise and air does a person good.

Waiting in the waiting room

Once we got to the Cancer Center and registered, we waited in the waiting room for about 10 minutes. Then we got called back to the pre-op area to get me ready for the surgery. The nurse did the usual. I was weighed, my temperature was taken, blood pressure done, they set up my IV and hooked me up. They also gave me a few warm blankets because it was cold back there in pre-op. Once done with all of that, we had another hour or so until I was going to be taken back to the surgery room. During this time Eric and I caught up on news, talked to each other, took goofy pictures (ok, I was taking goofy pictures) and then I started to get really tired. So I closed my eyes for a few minutes.

IV hook up

The nurse practitioner who was going to perform the procedure came in to talk to us and explain everything that would be going on. Then, the anesthesiologist came in to introduce herself and let me know that this procedure is a conscious sedation procedure. What that means is, they are going to numb the area and I will be given some medicine to keep me comfortable, but I will be awake and able to hear and see things going on around me. They were going to have my head and most of my body covered by a sterile sheet. While being rolled back, the Anesthesiologist Kris let me know that we will be listening to music and just let her know what I want to hear. My choice? Jack Johnson of course! Something calming and chill. While they were preping me Bob Marley "Every Little Thing" came on. Yep, isn't that so true? Every little thing IS going to be alright.

 Ready to go

Goofy faces

Waiting

The procedure itself seemed to go really fast. I think it was about 30 minutes long. The whole time I just felt a little pressure and tugging. But the lidocaine had numbed the area, so there was no pain. Well, no pain until afterwards. They gave me an ice pack to bring home and use for the soreness. because I will tell you, it's sore. I was then rolled into recovery and the nurse got Eric to come back. He thought it was going to be like having his wisdom teeth taken out. He thought I was going to be really out of it and all. Nope! I was just fine. A little tired, but I was feeling good. So good that the nurse offered and brought me a sandwich. Turkey sandwich on a crescent roll and some grapes. Yum-o! After maybe 15 or 20 minutes I got dressed and we were all set to go.

Ready to go

We ended up walking back to our apartment. I think the walk back was good for me because it got me moving again and the fresh air was nice also. Once back to the apartment, I hugged and kissed on a sleeping Brandon and then off to bed it was. I played down in bed, placed the ice pack on my chest and I was out. Luckily it was about 10am when I fell asleep and didn't have to be up until 1pm to get ready for the next appointment. After the nap, I felt great. I really needed that sleep. I was sore, but felt great. We got some lunch, I snuggled with Brandon for a little bit and then we were off on our walk back over to the Cancer Center for my continuous fluid hook up.

My Hickman line (Central Venus Catheter)

This is the really interesting part. We got there, got checked in and brought back to the treatment area. I big room with 8 chairs in it. It looked like the rooms at Kaiser for my chemo treatments. We sat in a chair, the amazing nurse Samira took some labs out of my new Hickman line, and we met with one of the pharmacy staff, Annabelle. She taught us about the pump for my continuous fluids. How to check it, how to clear alarms, what different alarms mean, etc. After Annabelle, we met with Tara, a Dietician. She talked to us about the diet I will be on. Let us ask any questions we may have about it. Like what I can and can not have. No berries, unless they are cooked, wash ALL fruits and vegetables very well, and make sure all meat is cooked thoroughly. Another thing I found out is that I can have lunch meats, I just have to heat them up. Basically, like when I was pregnant. I can also have ice cream, just not soft/self serve. It has to be bought in the freezer section of the grocery store.

All hooked up to my new "baby" for the next few days

After Tara, our nurse Samira came back, set us up to watch the 5 minute video on the hep filter mask I will be wearing starting tomorrow. Annabelle came back when we were done to get me hooked up to my very large saline bag in a backpack on wheels. The large bag has saline and potassium in it. I will be connected to and have to wheel this bag around with me until Friday afternoon before we head home. The reason for this bag is to keep me hydrated. The Cytoxin IV chemo I will be getting tomorrow can cause issues with the bladder and cause it to bleed. They found that as long as you keep hydrated, it will help prevent the infection and bleeding. So, they start the fluids early and keep them going through the next day. Luckily, today is the first day we didn't have anywhere we all had to be once the appointments were over. I was able to come back to the apartment (again, Eric and I walked) and actually sit down and relax. Eric went to get my remaining prescriptions at Kaiser in Redwood City and stopped at Target one more time to pick me up some tank tops to cover my Hickman line so Brandon doesn't grab on to them and put it out.

Walking back to the apartment with the new "baby" for the day

Tonight is the first time in a few days we have been able to just rest and relax. Tomorrow is a long day. We will be at the Cancer Center for about 9 hours or so. They will feed me breakfast, lunch and dinner. I will get my own room with restroom. During that time, I will try to do another post while there. In between reading, napping and other things I have brought with me to keep me busy. Thank you for reading. I know sometimes I can ramble, but I figure this is the best place to put the information out for everybody to see.

Little Mans First Time Swimming

Yesterday, Tuesday the 3rd of May, after all the appointments and classes we had (ok, there was 1 appointment and one class but it seemed like it was a VERY long day) we decided to go swimming. The main reason for that was because once I got my Hickman Line (the next post will be about that and the process) I wasn't going to be able to go swimming until after the end of my 100 days after transplant. So, we got back to our little apartment, got myself and Brandon in our swim gear and headed down to the pool.

We got down there and Brandon saw the big "bathtub" and started to get excited. He was kicking his legs around in my arms and making his excited squeals and all smiles. We got in and it was a little cold, but we started off on the steps with him standing up while I held his hands. He got a huge smile on his face. Which in turn made my heart leap for joy. It makes me so happy to have him love the water so much. With me being a "water baby" and growing up swimming, going to the beach and playing water polo, I have my little water baby. He is his mothers son.

We got all the way in and it's like he knew exactly what to do. My swim instructor in me kicked back in really fast and I help him on his chest and he started kicking on his own. I even turned him over on his back and he knew to kick that way too. He was so excited. Splashing, smiling, giggling, and just happy to be in the pool. I finally got in to my shoulders also since it was pretty cold to myself. Then, came time for the dunk. I stood there smiling and talking to him and then bobbed him up and down in the water a few times and blew in his face and dunked him under really fast. Of course, that startled him. At first he didn't know what to think of it. Then the look on his face was not a happy one but he was still happy to be with mommy in the water.

We only swam for about 10 or 15 minutes because it was so cold. We got out, got dried off and then rested and got warm before walking back up to the room. It made my heart happy and brought a huge smile to my face to have been able to take him swimming and for him to like the pool so much. Now I will feel much better about him going swimming with other people like his grandma and grandpas in June when we are back here for my transplant. It will also help tire him out too and maybe he will sleep even longer during the nights.

 After swimming, resting and comfortable 

Happy boy in the water. He was in his element.

First Stay Of Three

It's been a long day. It's 10:30pm and our day started at 6am when my alarm went off for us to get up and start getting ready. I let Eric and Brandon sleep a little longer while I showered and got ready. Once I was done, which took a lot less time since I cut my hair on Sunday night. I'll write about that later. It was go go go from the time we woke up. Finishing packing. Checking lists I made several times to make sure we didn't forget anything. Loaded the car up and off we left for Stanford.

We tried to leave by 9am but left at 9:30am. Not too bad really, or so we thought. We hit traffic a little outside of Sacramento that put us about an hour behind schedule. We thought I had an actual appointment at 12:30pm. So, me being the person who always needs to be at least 10-15 minutes early, was freaking out. Finally, when we hit more traffic around Pleasanton I called and found out we had to be there no later than 1pm. Thankfully we knew we could be here by then. When we got here Eric dropped me off at the Cancer Center and I went in to have my labs done and an x-ray of my chest area while he parked the car. After that was over and I met up with him, we went to my appointment with my doctor here. Dr. W is amazing! He also teaches here at Stanford University. So, when he explains what is going on, he explains everything in a way I can actually understand it. It's awesome! During this appointment, he explained that I will need to pick up new prescriptions that he was giving me and that Wednesday I will start with a continuous IV fluids that will go through till we leave on Friday. I will have these fluids with me in a little bag or backpack type thing. He also explained that on Thursday I will be getting an all day chemotherapy to help kill off whatever Myeloma cells are still in my blood. On Friday we will go back to disconnect the IV fluids and also learn how to do the Neupogen injections. That injection will help my stem cells develop faster for the collection of them in about 2 weeks.

After we met with Dr. W, his nurse coordinator, Inna, came in to go over everything in detail. I will write about each day in more detail later. But she did explain each prescription I will be having. There are 12 new prescriptions I am picking up in the morning that I will be starting on Friday when they show us how to do the injection. Dr. W cut the prescriptions I was already taking by about half. That was nice. Of course, we brought everything with with us, so no we have things here we don't need. But, it was a learning experience this trip I think.

Once that appointment was done, we went to a 30 minute class on the care of my central venus catheter. In the class were 2 other couples. Of course, we were the younger ones. We learned how to lay everything out for cleaning, how to clean it, how to make sure we don't use scissors for anything so we don't cut the lines and I don't bleed out, how to clamp the lines, and in the end, flush them. After the instruction, we went through the process then were free to go.

We then headed over to our H.O.M.E. away from home to check in. It's a small one bedroom furnished apartment. The place has a little balcony, is walking distance to the Cancer Center and has a pool we are going to try to get in tomorrow after everything is done. That way I can swim with Brandon before I get my catheter, start the process and have my 100 day period after my transplant. Today though, Eric, Judy, Bill, Brandon, and I headed to Kaiser in Redwood City to drop off my prescriptions and get some dinner. We finally got home around 9pm or so and got organized, settled in and now we are all SO ready for bed as it's after 11pm now.

Thank you everybody for the well wishes, thoughts, prayers, and good vibes. We appreciated everything and just knowing you all are there thinking about us helps get us through this time. Now, we are off to bed as we have to get some sleep for tomorrow. Good Night!!