As the days go on, I actually lose count as to what day it actually is. I always mean to put it in my calendar on my phone, but I forget. I guess you can call that "chemo brain". I seem to forget a lot if I don't write down right away. One thing being Brandon's milestones. I remember when he took his first step. It was my birthday. I remember when he actually walked by himself for the first time, that was last Thursday while all three of us were sitting in Brandon's room playing and he walked, unassisted, from Eric to me. I saw it out of the corner of my eye. Eric, head on. He climbed MOST of the stairs today on his own. Only to look back and see me and decide to crawl back to me. Rolling down 2 steps. He's ok. He didn't even cry, much. But I can't for the life of me, remember the exact day he stood by himself on his own. I know it was a week or two before he took his first step. This "chemo brain" has really got me.
Speaking of "chemo brain", it's going to happen for about 2 years still. Yep. I will be in maintenance chemo for 2 years. Let's hope that my MM stays away for that long...actually, MUCH longer would be nice. So far, so good. I guess you can say I am in complete response. But, until my 100 days is up (which is September 15th, I do remember that day), I will still say I am fighting MM. Although, I will ALWAYS be fighting it. It won't go away. So, I will be fighting it as in maintaining my levels and helping get my immune system back to where it should be. Which, is in another 30 something days or so. That's not bad. Considering it feels like I just had my transplant not long ago. But, to think it was just over two months ago now is amazing. I'm over the half way point. And feeling and doing great!
For now, the posts will probably be further apart. I mean, there has to be something to write about in order to write. I'll probably do another one later in the week. My 1 year anniversary of diagnosis is coming up. Hard to believe that it's been 10 months since Brandon was born and yet on the 19th I will have been diagnosed for 1 year and was 28 weeks pregnant with this cutie. He has really completed our family. I can't imagine life without him now. Sometimes I feel like an over protective mom. Other times I know I am letting him figure things out for himself. Over protection comes from making sure he doesn't fall off the bed or roll down the stairs. Both of which I haven't been too protective over the last few days. But, I can't always be right there.
Thank you for reading again. I know you don't have to. And some people probably wonder why I even put my life out there to read. It was originally to inform people about MM. Now it's more of informing people about my life with MM and my family. Letting you know what we are doing now. So, thank you!
Sunday, August 14, 2016
Sunday, August 7, 2016
Another Year Down & A year Almost Over
My 38th birthday was just a few days ago. Just this past Thursday actually. We didn't do anything for it that day because Eric had to work, so we celebrated today. Well, this evening. We went to dinner at our favorite restaurant. Buca di Bepo. Yep. Some delicious Italian food. I got to share the evening with family. Which was really nice. My aunt Jean, Erics mom and step-dad, my brother and sister in law and my niece. Of course, Eric and Brandon were there too. All I ever want for my birthday now as I get older is to celebrate with dinner. Whether it's with just Eric, and now Brandon, with family, with friends, or with family and friends. I am good with a dinner and that's it. Nothing too extravagant. Who else is like that?
We ended up leaving a little early to dinner so we could get some errands done. I got Brandon some much needed clothing since he's growing like a weed and needed 18 month size clothes. Luckily, Carters is having yet another sale (I think they always have sales) and I got him 3 outfits and 2 pairs of shoes. The shoes because he is getting to that point that he WILL be walking soon. Yep. He's been taking anywhere from 2-4 steps and then grabbing onto furniture or me or falling to the ground on his butt. And he's fast too. By the time I get my camera ready for a video he is done. Doesn't he know I need to get it on video? He probably does and that's why he goes so fast. He want's to watch mommy get excited and then bummed. Ok, probably not, but it's a good thought.
Yesterday our little monkey turned 10 months old. Yep, a whole 10 months old! Only two more months until he's a year. Where has the time gone? This time last year we didn't know about my cancer. This time last year we were thinking we had exactly, to the day, three more months to go until we saw out little man. We were still deciding on exactly how we wanted to decorate his room. I was planning out how long I was going to be off work and when I was going to go off work. We were planning Eric's paternity leave. There was so much we were planning, all without knowing what was lurking there in my bone marrow. In my spine. In my body. Not knowing what was to come in the next few days. The start of finding out about my cancer started at my monthly prenatal appointment on August 10th. That's just three days away. Two if you don't count the 30 minutes left in the 7th. That appointment got the ball rolling that lead to eventually finding my cancer.
When the one year anniversary comes around of my diagnosis, I will not celebrate it. I will, however, celebrate the fact that I have beat it. I have put my burgundy boxing gloves on and kicked Multiple Myeloma's ass. Sorry for the "cuss" word to those who don't like it. But it's true. I have kicked it's ass. And, it will not be back...for a very long time, if at all. Of course, a lot my talking about MM and treatment and everything, will be done on the one year anniversary. It will be a bittersweet day. As that day a year ago, all we knew was a very short life expectancy and how there is no cure. But now, I will talk about so much more. What I've learned over the last year. In the treatment. Living with MM. The pain. The people who have stuck my my side through it all. It may be a two part post. We shall see.
Well, I am going to go start to read Wuthering Heights. Eric bought me the book today when we stopped at Barnes & Noble. I'm excited for it. With Brandon, we shall see how long it takes me to read it. So, until next post, have a fabulous night!
Family picture at dinner, courtesy of my aunt Jean
We ended up leaving a little early to dinner so we could get some errands done. I got Brandon some much needed clothing since he's growing like a weed and needed 18 month size clothes. Luckily, Carters is having yet another sale (I think they always have sales) and I got him 3 outfits and 2 pairs of shoes. The shoes because he is getting to that point that he WILL be walking soon. Yep. He's been taking anywhere from 2-4 steps and then grabbing onto furniture or me or falling to the ground on his butt. And he's fast too. By the time I get my camera ready for a video he is done. Doesn't he know I need to get it on video? He probably does and that's why he goes so fast. He want's to watch mommy get excited and then bummed. Ok, probably not, but it's a good thought.
Two step shuffle
Our monkey
Yesterday our little monkey turned 10 months old. Yep, a whole 10 months old! Only two more months until he's a year. Where has the time gone? This time last year we didn't know about my cancer. This time last year we were thinking we had exactly, to the day, three more months to go until we saw out little man. We were still deciding on exactly how we wanted to decorate his room. I was planning out how long I was going to be off work and when I was going to go off work. We were planning Eric's paternity leave. There was so much we were planning, all without knowing what was lurking there in my bone marrow. In my spine. In my body. Not knowing what was to come in the next few days. The start of finding out about my cancer started at my monthly prenatal appointment on August 10th. That's just three days away. Two if you don't count the 30 minutes left in the 7th. That appointment got the ball rolling that lead to eventually finding my cancer.
10 Months Old
When the one year anniversary comes around of my diagnosis, I will not celebrate it. I will, however, celebrate the fact that I have beat it. I have put my burgundy boxing gloves on and kicked Multiple Myeloma's ass. Sorry for the "cuss" word to those who don't like it. But it's true. I have kicked it's ass. And, it will not be back...for a very long time, if at all. Of course, a lot my talking about MM and treatment and everything, will be done on the one year anniversary. It will be a bittersweet day. As that day a year ago, all we knew was a very short life expectancy and how there is no cure. But now, I will talk about so much more. What I've learned over the last year. In the treatment. Living with MM. The pain. The people who have stuck my my side through it all. It may be a two part post. We shall see.
My musical boy
Ham for the camera
Well, I am going to go start to read Wuthering Heights. Eric bought me the book today when we stopped at Barnes & Noble. I'm excited for it. With Brandon, we shall see how long it takes me to read it. So, until next post, have a fabulous night!
Saturday, July 30, 2016
Day +53 - A Bunch Of Randoms
Todays post is just a bunch of random thoughts or things going on. Like I keep saying, my doctors still think I am doing really well and I haven't had any set backs at all. One good thing? I only have to take one of my pills, Bactrim for another 6 days. I had to take that medication from day +30 through to day +60. There is an infection that can occur after a transplant between those days. So, in order to keep ahead of it, I had to take the Bactrim as a precaution. No big deal. I already had the medication from back when I was first diagnosed and was pregnant. It doesn't give me any side affects, so I had no problem taking it. Especially since the dose I had was a big one. I got to cut the pill in half and take that twice a day.
Something a little funny here. Brandon has gotten into this really weird and silly habit the last two months or so. It's odd, strange and funny a little all at the same time. He doesn't understand me yet when I say "You can pick your friends. You can pick your nose. But you can't pick your friends nose". In this case, I change "friends" to "mama's". You can probably tell where this is going already. But here's the backstory, sort of. When I feed him or hold him to help him get to sleep, he likes to touch my face. He will touch my eyes, mouth, ears, cheeks, and of course nose. I don't mind him touching my face. He's pretty gentle and he's learning. He's learning what's on people's faces. But, now, he's sticking his finger up my nose and moving it around. How do you tell a 9 month old not to do that other than saying "no", pulling his finger out and moving away? To me, it's funny, but at the same time disgusting. He shouldn't pick other people's noses. So, that's something we need to work on with him.
Another pretty cool thing is that my hair is growing back. Well, starting to grow back. Slowly. I did start taking Hair, Skin, Nails from It Works. A fellow MM fighter and new friend used it and her hair grew back faster in a month. So, I'm excited to see what mine does. So far, just from feeling it (yep, I rub my head to feel my hair), it feels like peach fuzz. It's soft and you can barely see it, but it's there. I will say, it's nice not having hair right now. With the weather being as hot as it is, it's nice to have no hair. Or at least almost no hair. I remember when I have hair it's always pulled up in a bun or pony tail in the summer because of how hot it gets. Today alone was about 108*. Way too hot for me. I'm good keeping it in the 60's and 70's. This 100+ degree heat is horrible. But, I will be happy when I have hair again also. Especially with winter coming. So, in the next few weeks I will be posting my hair pictures. Well, when it's been a month of taking the pills. The hairs that are growing back the fastest are my eyebrows and unfortunately, my chin. Come on girls. You know you get hairs there too. Some people are lucky enough to pluck it. Others, like me, have to have it threaded. Same with my eyebrows. I'm not ready to go have my eyebrows done, but I know I should since they are looking pretty bad.
The only thing that's been annoying is the fact that since my transplant and almost immediately after it, my skin is very dry. I am constantly having to put lotion on. I have Cetaphil that Stanford gave me. But I also use my Perfectly Posh Fresh Creamy Milk stuff. It's definitely hydrating. I'll alternate with those two lotions/body butter. For my face, because it gets so dry it flakes, I use several different Perfectly Posh items. They all work and all are different consistencies. So I use certain ones at certain times of the day. I'll be happy when the dryness gets under control. It's tough keeping up with it and I feel like I need to bring all the different lotions with me when I go out. Mainly for my face. I can use regular hand creme for the rest of the day. But my face. It's the flakiness that drives me nuts!
So, there are updates of randomness for you. Some a little funny, some exciting, some annoying. But, that is life. Now, off to bed for me.
Here's a little message from Brandon. He wanted to write too:
,.,,,,m/ /////l///kll++l ;................fffff
A look at the out of control eyebrows...and the cutie...a few days ago
Something a little funny here. Brandon has gotten into this really weird and silly habit the last two months or so. It's odd, strange and funny a little all at the same time. He doesn't understand me yet when I say "You can pick your friends. You can pick your nose. But you can't pick your friends nose". In this case, I change "friends" to "mama's". You can probably tell where this is going already. But here's the backstory, sort of. When I feed him or hold him to help him get to sleep, he likes to touch my face. He will touch my eyes, mouth, ears, cheeks, and of course nose. I don't mind him touching my face. He's pretty gentle and he's learning. He's learning what's on people's faces. But, now, he's sticking his finger up my nose and moving it around. How do you tell a 9 month old not to do that other than saying "no", pulling his finger out and moving away? To me, it's funny, but at the same time disgusting. He shouldn't pick other people's noses. So, that's something we need to work on with him.
Snatched my Pop Tart the other day
Another pretty cool thing is that my hair is growing back. Well, starting to grow back. Slowly. I did start taking Hair, Skin, Nails from It Works. A fellow MM fighter and new friend used it and her hair grew back faster in a month. So, I'm excited to see what mine does. So far, just from feeling it (yep, I rub my head to feel my hair), it feels like peach fuzz. It's soft and you can barely see it, but it's there. I will say, it's nice not having hair right now. With the weather being as hot as it is, it's nice to have no hair. Or at least almost no hair. I remember when I have hair it's always pulled up in a bun or pony tail in the summer because of how hot it gets. Today alone was about 108*. Way too hot for me. I'm good keeping it in the 60's and 70's. This 100+ degree heat is horrible. But, I will be happy when I have hair again also. Especially with winter coming. So, in the next few weeks I will be posting my hair pictures. Well, when it's been a month of taking the pills. The hairs that are growing back the fastest are my eyebrows and unfortunately, my chin. Come on girls. You know you get hairs there too. Some people are lucky enough to pluck it. Others, like me, have to have it threaded. Same with my eyebrows. I'm not ready to go have my eyebrows done, but I know I should since they are looking pretty bad.
My world, daddy's home from work
The only thing that's been annoying is the fact that since my transplant and almost immediately after it, my skin is very dry. I am constantly having to put lotion on. I have Cetaphil that Stanford gave me. But I also use my Perfectly Posh Fresh Creamy Milk stuff. It's definitely hydrating. I'll alternate with those two lotions/body butter. For my face, because it gets so dry it flakes, I use several different Perfectly Posh items. They all work and all are different consistencies. So I use certain ones at certain times of the day. I'll be happy when the dryness gets under control. It's tough keeping up with it and I feel like I need to bring all the different lotions with me when I go out. Mainly for my face. I can use regular hand creme for the rest of the day. But my face. It's the flakiness that drives me nuts!
So, there are updates of randomness for you. Some a little funny, some exciting, some annoying. But, that is life. Now, off to bed for me.
My little man before his message below
Here's a little message from Brandon. He wanted to write too:
,.,,,,m/ /////l///kll++l ;................fffff
Good night world!
Tuesday, July 26, 2016
Day +50 - Half Way There
Today was day +50. That means I am half way through the 100 days. I didn't do too much today. It was a normal day. Except, I did go get a treat I've been wanting. Originally I was thinking of getting a cupcake from a place called Icing On the Cupcake that's not far away. Then, I decided that should be for my 100 days celebration. So, I opted to stick in town. I ran a few errands, then the last stop was the treat.
The weather was about 108* today. Give or take a few degrees really. Either way, it was scorching hot. Too hot for me. So, I went for frozen yogurt. Even though the new place in town (which will remain nameless) is closer, I have had bad service there the few times I've gone for us. So, I went to my favorite place. Homespun Yogurt. I personally think they have more of a selection in their flavors. Their employees are courteous and always happy. Always willing to help. I ended up with one of my old favorites, coconut and added in some orange tropical sorbet flavor also. Great choice! I took it home and enjoyed it in the air conditioning. With Brandon. Yes, I let him have a little bit.
You see, I haven't had frozen yogurt in a while because it was one thing on the "no no" list for my special diet. Well, I'd be able to have stuff from the grocery store ice cream aisle, but not the good stuff from the stores. The more fresh stuff I guess you can say. So, today was a great treat. And it hit the spot. I was happy I decided to switch it up from cupcakes to frozen yogurt. When I hot the 100 days, cupcakes will be better because it shouldn't be as hot as it is now and they seem a lot better for a 100 day anniversary.
I didn't make anything special for dinner. I had some of my left overs from Olive Garden and some lemonade. It really was a regular day for the half way mark. Why celebrate too much now when you can celebrate a lot more later? I'm still feeling great. No nausea in the last week or so and my energy is slowly getting better. It better because I am sure Brandon is going to be walking here in the next few weeks. Hopefully he does it before I go back to work. Now, I sit here in bed, waiting for Eric to get home from work, watching Criminal Minds on Netflix and listening to Brandon sleep in his crib next to me. I also hear the noise machine for him, but it works to keep him sleeping, so I will take it. The evening is winding down and I will probably play a little sudoku here in a little bit before heading off to sleepy land.
Thank you for enduring the first 50 days after transplant with me. Here's to the next 50 (toasting with my lemonade)!
The weather was about 108* today. Give or take a few degrees really. Either way, it was scorching hot. Too hot for me. So, I went for frozen yogurt. Even though the new place in town (which will remain nameless) is closer, I have had bad service there the few times I've gone for us. So, I went to my favorite place. Homespun Yogurt. I personally think they have more of a selection in their flavors. Their employees are courteous and always happy. Always willing to help. I ended up with one of my old favorites, coconut and added in some orange tropical sorbet flavor also. Great choice! I took it home and enjoyed it in the air conditioning. With Brandon. Yes, I let him have a little bit.
Me and my Froyo!
You see, I haven't had frozen yogurt in a while because it was one thing on the "no no" list for my special diet. Well, I'd be able to have stuff from the grocery store ice cream aisle, but not the good stuff from the stores. The more fresh stuff I guess you can say. So, today was a great treat. And it hit the spot. I was happy I decided to switch it up from cupcakes to frozen yogurt. When I hot the 100 days, cupcakes will be better because it shouldn't be as hot as it is now and they seem a lot better for a 100 day anniversary.
I didn't make anything special for dinner. I had some of my left overs from Olive Garden and some lemonade. It really was a regular day for the half way mark. Why celebrate too much now when you can celebrate a lot more later? I'm still feeling great. No nausea in the last week or so and my energy is slowly getting better. It better because I am sure Brandon is going to be walking here in the next few weeks. Hopefully he does it before I go back to work. Now, I sit here in bed, waiting for Eric to get home from work, watching Criminal Minds on Netflix and listening to Brandon sleep in his crib next to me. I also hear the noise machine for him, but it works to keep him sleeping, so I will take it. The evening is winding down and I will probably play a little sudoku here in a little bit before heading off to sleepy land.
Thank you for enduring the first 50 days after transplant with me. Here's to the next 50 (toasting with my lemonade)!
Monday, July 25, 2016
Day +48 - First Sit Down Restaurant Outing
On day +31 I was able to eat out. I didn't have anymore restrictions. It was nice knowing I didn't have anymore restrictions, but at the same time, I didn't feel like eating out. Probably because at that point it had only been a month since I had had my transplant and I was still getting my appetite back. Honestly, it's still not back, but it's much better.
Since the restriction ban was lifted, we have had fast food. I've had a burger from Carls Jr, chicken sandwich from Jack In the Box, chicken nuggets from McDonalds, those amazing carne aside fries from Adalbertos, and of course Taco Bell. As you can see, my stomach does well with those. And, if it does well with those, then a restaurant should be ok. So, today, we met up with Eric's parents. Well, Brandon and I did. Eric was exhausted and rightfully so. He's been working a lot lately. Honestly, I can't remember the last time he had a day off. So, he stayed home to rest. I ran and picked up my prescriptions and then Brandon and I met Eric's parents at Olive Garden.
I love Olive Garden. I was hoping that going there, getting what I usually get, wasn't going to be disappointing. In June, at my last appointment in the Infusion Treatment Center at Stanford, my NP told us that we should wait to go to our favorite place since my taste buds are a bit off. She said that it could take a month or two until they got back to or close to normal. So, I was nervous going to Olive Garden. But, luckily, everything tasted as I remembered. The salad, the bread sticks and my build your own pasta of Cavatappi with Garlic Alfredo and chicken. My own little "fettuccini" alfredo with chicken. So yummy. So creamy. Of course, you have to get the extra cheese. And LOTS of it! I missed their salad and breadsticks. We have their dressing at home, but it's not the same as when you get it there in the restaurant.
It was great to be able to eat out. At a restaurant when it's not fast food. We don't do it all the time. In fact, the next time will probably be in early August for out anniversary and my birthday all rolled into one. Restaurant of choice at that time? Probably Buca di Bepo. As you can see, I love Italian food. I also love Mexican, but Italian seems to be the way to go right now. We are not sure yet when we will celebrate those two events, but it will most likely be family and maybe a few friends for this dinner. At Buca, if you've never been, it's family style. You order a few items and everybody eats it. I love this way. You usually have left overs too. Which, I love from Buca.
Well, now I'm just rambling about food. Maybe I'm a little hungry. Even if I am, I'm not eating now. Since it is after midnight. Oh! And it's after midnight because little mister man decided to wake up and is now having a party in his crib and doesn't want to go to sleep. Even with the noise machine. I also tried our other sleep aides of Jack Johnson and then lullaby on You Tube. Not working tonight. So, it is crying in his crib for a little bit to get him tired out. It'll work. I've had to do it before. I hate it, but I will do it if it means he will eventually be going to sleep. So, here, I sit, fishing this blog listening to a fussy baby. Fussy because his cries right now are very fake. I'll wake for 10 minutes of full crying. Well, I'll let you all go for now. Posts are getting further apart because I don't have much new to write about. Chat with you all later!
Since the restriction ban was lifted, we have had fast food. I've had a burger from Carls Jr, chicken sandwich from Jack In the Box, chicken nuggets from McDonalds, those amazing carne aside fries from Adalbertos, and of course Taco Bell. As you can see, my stomach does well with those. And, if it does well with those, then a restaurant should be ok. So, today, we met up with Eric's parents. Well, Brandon and I did. Eric was exhausted and rightfully so. He's been working a lot lately. Honestly, I can't remember the last time he had a day off. So, he stayed home to rest. I ran and picked up my prescriptions and then Brandon and I met Eric's parents at Olive Garden.
I love Olive Garden. I was hoping that going there, getting what I usually get, wasn't going to be disappointing. In June, at my last appointment in the Infusion Treatment Center at Stanford, my NP told us that we should wait to go to our favorite place since my taste buds are a bit off. She said that it could take a month or two until they got back to or close to normal. So, I was nervous going to Olive Garden. But, luckily, everything tasted as I remembered. The salad, the bread sticks and my build your own pasta of Cavatappi with Garlic Alfredo and chicken. My own little "fettuccini" alfredo with chicken. So yummy. So creamy. Of course, you have to get the extra cheese. And LOTS of it! I missed their salad and breadsticks. We have their dressing at home, but it's not the same as when you get it there in the restaurant.
It was great to be able to eat out. At a restaurant when it's not fast food. We don't do it all the time. In fact, the next time will probably be in early August for out anniversary and my birthday all rolled into one. Restaurant of choice at that time? Probably Buca di Bepo. As you can see, I love Italian food. I also love Mexican, but Italian seems to be the way to go right now. We are not sure yet when we will celebrate those two events, but it will most likely be family and maybe a few friends for this dinner. At Buca, if you've never been, it's family style. You order a few items and everybody eats it. I love this way. You usually have left overs too. Which, I love from Buca.
Well, now I'm just rambling about food. Maybe I'm a little hungry. Even if I am, I'm not eating now. Since it is after midnight. Oh! And it's after midnight because little mister man decided to wake up and is now having a party in his crib and doesn't want to go to sleep. Even with the noise machine. I also tried our other sleep aides of Jack Johnson and then lullaby on You Tube. Not working tonight. So, it is crying in his crib for a little bit to get him tired out. It'll work. I've had to do it before. I hate it, but I will do it if it means he will eventually be going to sleep. So, here, I sit, fishing this blog listening to a fussy baby. Fussy because his cries right now are very fake. I'll wake for 10 minutes of full crying. Well, I'll let you all go for now. Posts are getting further apart because I don't have much new to write about. Chat with you all later!
Friday, July 22, 2016
Weight Loss
Its no secret that I've lost weight. Quite a bit actually. It started back in June 2014 when I started my Beachbody workouts. I love those workouts. Through that summer, 10 weeks really, I lost 10 pounds. All from eating healthier and working out. I got pregnant pretty quick after those 10 weeks were over and slacked a bit on my workouts. Basically, laziness and also because I had horrible morning sickness. Then by the time I got home from work I was exhausted. When we lost that pregnancy, I didn't do any workouts until around New Years. The reason for that was because I did something to my back from the back labor I had with that miscarriage. I got back to the workouts and in a month I lost another 5 pounds. I was feeling healthy again. Then, a month after that, we found out we were pregnant again. This time I decided to keep working out. No matter what. It's not just good for me, but also for the baby.
Just because...you can see we have the same eye color in this picture.
Through my whole pregnancy and even after my MM diagnosis, I only gained a total of 10 pounds. Even with not being able to workout except to walk when I got my diagnosis. After having Brandon, I was able to drop back down to my pre-pregnancy weight within a week. I attribute it to the working out I did and keeping healthy through my pregnancy. Even once I was only allowed to walk. I pretty much held that weight until now. Well, until after my transplant.
I know it's not the healthiest way, but after my transplant, I have lost 9 pounds in 1 1/2 months. The majority of it was from that week I was hospitalized. Due to the mucusitis I had, I couldn't eat or drink much. At least for fluid wise, I was hooked up to an IV constantly. Food was really hard. I either wouldn't eat or would have popsicles or ice cream. Something cold and easy to go down my throat. I don't know exactly how much I lost that week, but I'm sure it was at least 5 pounds. Since being home, I've lost another 4. I don't mean to rub any of this in. Because honestly, this is not the healthiest way to be doing this. I just couldn't help it. I am finally getting ahold of the eating again. I still can't eat as much as I used to, but I am slowly getting to bigger portions. The doctors and nurses told us this would happen too. That most everybody who goes through a transplant will end up having a smaller appetite. Get full faster. Which I definitely do. Let's put it this way. If we go to Taco Bell, I used to get a meal. Usually something like a taco and nachos or something. Now, I get maybe a burrito. Even that I can't finish all of. Maybe because of the tortilla. Who knows. I will say this though, my sweet tooth is really bad now. I can eat sweets all day if I could' But I know it's not good for me, so I don't.
Where all of this is going is, I ended up going shopping for clothes in my own closet. I guess it's good I keep old clothes. Honestly, mainly my old jeans. They were somewhat expensive. So of course I'm going to keep them if there is a chance I might get motivated to get healthy again. I went through a stack of jeans. Probably about 20 pair or so. I have a huge stack of ones I am keeping and will wear. Two of those pairs I will definitely wear now since they are capris and it's hot out. I had a small stack of ones that are 1 size too big but they stay up, so I will be cutting them and making them into shorts. Then, there was a stack of 2 that are still too small for me. I'm tossing a pair that fit though because they have holes in them. In not the best spot. Guess I wore that pair a lot. This is the "shopping" I like to do. I'm not your typical girl that likes to go shopping. I will online shop before I go into a store to shop. Unless it's Target. I'll go into Target any day any time. Even if I don't need anything. I will go there to get my walking workout in. I got Eric hooked on that store and Brandon has been to Target a few times a week since he was born. He knows Target.
All the loot from "shopping" in my closet!
So, now that I am down to my goal weight I had in mind for my workout days, I need to figure a way to stay there. I can't do my Beachbody workouts right now, and maybe for a few years if ever. Walking is good, but not at my pace. It's kind of slow now. Maybe it'll pick up as my back gets better. There's always swimming, but I need to find a place that's not too expensive to be able to go do laps. Everything is up in the air. At least until I get back to work. Until then, I will do what I can to stay here at my healthy weight and be happy with who I am. I used to think being thin was what I needed. Now, it's being healthy and feeling comfortable in my own skin. That's where I am now. And I'll take it. If I gain a few pounds, I gain a few pounds. I'm in the range I want to be in.
Wednesday, July 20, 2016
Day +44 - Started Maintenance Chemo
Today I started my maintenance chemo. I was given the choice 2 weeks ago of either a pill everyday or the Velcade shot every two weeks. I'm not very good at taking pills. I gag. Even though I've been taking them for almost a year now. I just can't seem to get used to them. So, I obviously didn't pick the pill everyday. I went for the Velcade shot. One time a week every two weeks.
I was on Velcade before my transplant. Actually, from November through April I'd go in every Wednesday for my shot. So, I knew it would work for me. It didn't really make me sick either after I got used to it. And, honestly, me getting sick could have been the Dexamethasone chemo pills I had to take every Wednesday before going in for my treatment. This time, I'm not taking Dex. Kind of nice.
Today the appointment was late morning. We got there and Eric dropped me off because we were running late. I went upstairs and got checked in and was called back before he got to the waiting room. His parents were already there also since they were going to hang out with Brandon while Eric came and sat back with me for treatment. I got to talk to them for a few minutes before getting called back and got set up. Eric wasn't that far behind and was there with me before my IV was started. Now, we learned something new today. I knew that you shouldn't cross your legs while having your blood pressure taken. It messes with it and usually causes it to read higher. What I didn't know was that you shouldn't cross your legs when having an IV started. The reason for that is blood flow. Learning something new every day.
The nurse, whom I'd never had before, started my IV, but not before it took her a little bit to get my veins. The problem was because I hadn't been drinking as much water as I should have been like before. I even forgot my water bottle at home. The one I usually brought with me before. So, we tried pumping and tried heat. Finally, she brought out the vein finder. I'll tell ya, that thing is amazing! The light shines on you and it shows where the veins are. Kind of like if you were to look into somebody house with their lights on and shade closed. It was a shadow of my veins. Pretty cool. But, now I realize I need to drink more water starting at least the day before I get Zometa. I heard also if you drink ice water over room temperature water, it helps plump the veins even more.
So, Zometa was started. That takes about 15 minutes. Then, my nurse came over with my Velcade shot. That's quick and easy. A shot in my tummy and we are all good. Through all of this, Eric and I got to talk to some of our nurse friends we hadn't seen in a while. I had "checked-in" on Facebook at Oncology department and Jessica saw and came to look for us. Then, Kellie came over to talk to us also. It was so nice to be able to talk to them. Especially Jessica since she will be going out soon to get ready for her baby coming. Of course, we talked about Brandon and her baby to be and her daughter. They, the nurses there, make us feel important. Like we are family. It reminds me of how I dispatch. My officers are my family. At Kaiser Roseville Oncology, the nurses really take the time to get to know you. To talk to you. To become your family. You are there enough, they really are your second family. I don't know any other way to explain it.
I was done and Jessica went back to work. All I had going through the IV now was regular old saline. Eric and I were sitting there longer than usual. We ended up getting forgotten about. But, I said something and got disconnected and we were free to go. Even with getting forgotten about, it was so good to be back at Kaiser Roseville Oncology infusion center. Back to our family. Stanford was great. But they were the really good friend we went to visit for a little while. And they sent us back to our family.
That was my first day of maintenance chemo in a nutshell. Easy. Relaxing. Happy. Odd to be happy about chemo, but it's who you are with and around that make it that way. Now, I am off to bed. I need to get some sleep. As Jessica, Eric and I were talking about, I need my rest still. I am still healing. Recuperating really, from my transplant. And some days my body really tells me by almost shutting down. When I overdo it. Today, I didn't overdo it. Today, chemo day, was a good day!
I was on Velcade before my transplant. Actually, from November through April I'd go in every Wednesday for my shot. So, I knew it would work for me. It didn't really make me sick either after I got used to it. And, honestly, me getting sick could have been the Dexamethasone chemo pills I had to take every Wednesday before going in for my treatment. This time, I'm not taking Dex. Kind of nice.
Today the appointment was late morning. We got there and Eric dropped me off because we were running late. I went upstairs and got checked in and was called back before he got to the waiting room. His parents were already there also since they were going to hang out with Brandon while Eric came and sat back with me for treatment. I got to talk to them for a few minutes before getting called back and got set up. Eric wasn't that far behind and was there with me before my IV was started. Now, we learned something new today. I knew that you shouldn't cross your legs while having your blood pressure taken. It messes with it and usually causes it to read higher. What I didn't know was that you shouldn't cross your legs when having an IV started. The reason for that is blood flow. Learning something new every day.
Getting ready to go to maintenance chemo day one
The nurse, whom I'd never had before, started my IV, but not before it took her a little bit to get my veins. The problem was because I hadn't been drinking as much water as I should have been like before. I even forgot my water bottle at home. The one I usually brought with me before. So, we tried pumping and tried heat. Finally, she brought out the vein finder. I'll tell ya, that thing is amazing! The light shines on you and it shows where the veins are. Kind of like if you were to look into somebody house with their lights on and shade closed. It was a shadow of my veins. Pretty cool. But, now I realize I need to drink more water starting at least the day before I get Zometa. I heard also if you drink ice water over room temperature water, it helps plump the veins even more.
So, Zometa was started. That takes about 15 minutes. Then, my nurse came over with my Velcade shot. That's quick and easy. A shot in my tummy and we are all good. Through all of this, Eric and I got to talk to some of our nurse friends we hadn't seen in a while. I had "checked-in" on Facebook at Oncology department and Jessica saw and came to look for us. Then, Kellie came over to talk to us also. It was so nice to be able to talk to them. Especially Jessica since she will be going out soon to get ready for her baby coming. Of course, we talked about Brandon and her baby to be and her daughter. They, the nurses there, make us feel important. Like we are family. It reminds me of how I dispatch. My officers are my family. At Kaiser Roseville Oncology, the nurses really take the time to get to know you. To talk to you. To become your family. You are there enough, they really are your second family. I don't know any other way to explain it.
I was done and Jessica went back to work. All I had going through the IV now was regular old saline. Eric and I were sitting there longer than usual. We ended up getting forgotten about. But, I said something and got disconnected and we were free to go. Even with getting forgotten about, it was so good to be back at Kaiser Roseville Oncology infusion center. Back to our family. Stanford was great. But they were the really good friend we went to visit for a little while. And they sent us back to our family.
That was my first day of maintenance chemo in a nutshell. Easy. Relaxing. Happy. Odd to be happy about chemo, but it's who you are with and around that make it that way. Now, I am off to bed. I need to get some sleep. As Jessica, Eric and I were talking about, I need my rest still. I am still healing. Recuperating really, from my transplant. And some days my body really tells me by almost shutting down. When I overdo it. Today, I didn't overdo it. Today, chemo day, was a good day!
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